Stumbling Towards Gracefulness
by TOFanGirl
Summary: Continues on from where the season 4 finale left off. Gail and Holly are my OTP. Feedback and suggestions are very welcome. Also looking for good fanfic recommendations. Will continue to publish as I write, if there's interest. So far, has been very enjoyable to write. I live in Toronto, so I also want to try and add some local flavour.
1. Solace Part 1

Gail gazed over at Holly from the passenger seat of Holly's car. They hadn't said a word since they'd left the hospital, but it was a comfortable silence, instead of the hostile or awkward silences that Gail usually shared with others.

_God, she's beautiful_, Gail thought, as she let her eyes roam over the other woman's features.

Holly let her attention wander from the road for a moment, to take a quick look over at Gail, who she could feel burning two icy holes into her. Gail had an almost pained look on her face, so Holly smiled at her reassuringly before returning her eyes to the road. Holly reached out and placed a firm hand on Gail's knee as she turned onto Bay Street.

They had stayed at the hospital a while longer, but after being reassured that there would be no changes to either Sam or Chloe's conditions, everyone except close loved-ones had left to find, if not sleep, then at least some solace at home.

"Can I stay at your place tonight?" Gail had asked looking-up at Holly with tired, imploring eyes.

And now here they were pulling into Holly's underground parking spot. Holly knew under the circumstances she shouldn't feel so excited about having Gail stay-over at her place, but she couldn't really help the emotion. Just as she couldn't seem to help all the emotions that she felt whenever Gail was near her.

Gail slipped her hand into Holly's as they walked over to the elevators. While they waited for the elevator to come, Gail leaned her head onto Holly's back, wrapping her arms around her front. Holly responded by wrapping her arms awkwardly behind herself and around Gail. When the elevator came, Gail was too exhausted and comfortable to shift her position much, thus making them awkwardly frog-march into the elevator.

With a crooked smile, Holly pulled Gail in front of her, and let her nestle comfortably into her side. Holly leaned against the elevator wall and with her free arm, punched the button for the 17th floor. As the elevator ascended, she gently kissed the top of Gail's head.

Gail let Holly pull her by the hand to her apartment door. She probably should have let Holly's hand go, while she tried awkwardly to pull her keys out, but she wanted the constant contact. She had felt a magnetic pull towards Holly ever since she had first met her, but she was only now admitting it to herself.

Gail immediately became alert when she stepped into Holly's apartment; she had imagined what it would look like and now she was here, and her curiosity was getting the better of her.

Gail's eyes wandered over the modern, but cozy living area and kitchen. She noted the dark hardwood floors, granite countertops, gray couch, the over-flowing bookshelves – it was very much as Gail had imagined it would be.

"Well this place puts my 'Three's Company' living situation to shame," Gail said with her usual desert dry delivery.

Holly knew this was Gail's way of expressing that she liked her place, so the arched eyebrow she directed towards her was all about the unexpected retro TV reference. Gail was always catching Holly off-guard - it was one of the things she liked so much about her.

"I'm going to change and get you something comfortable to change into too," Holly said, shaking her head. Gail was already looking around like a cop on a drug bust.

Gail's eyes skimmed over Holly's bookshelves, noting with amusement the comic books and fantasy novels mixed in with the academic books and scientific journals.

Gail heard Holly re-enter the room. "You really are a massive nerd, aren't you?" Gail said turning around. "I – " Gail's breath caught in her throat and she completely lost her train of thought, as she caught sight of Holly's more comfortable attire. Somewhere in the lizard part of her brain she was processing the images that were going through her optical nerve, but all higher-order thinking processes were off-line. Holly had changed into cut-off sweats, hung low enough to show-off the angle of her hips, an old t-shirt from her alma mater, McGill, that hung high enough to show off her stomach, and she was most decidedly not wearing a bra.

"The nerds have inherited the Earth, you know," Holly chuckled. She knew she was a nerd, and she embraced it fully. "I won't show you my Buffy pint glass collection, until I think you're ready for it."

Holly quirked her mouth into a smile, at the dumbfounded look on Gail's face.

"Here," Holly said, tossing a change of clothes at Gail.

Gail dragged her eyes away from Holly's body, just in time to get a face-full of clothes. Gail blushed and quickly stooped to pick up the clothes. _Get a grip Peck, _Gail implored herself. _They're only pajamas._

"Between this and the batting cages, I really am starting to worry about your reflexes," Holly laughed. "- Like as a doctor, there might be something medically wrong with you."

"You're lucky I like you," Gail said, glaring at Holly.

"Yes, I am," Holly replied. And they both blushed.

"I'll make you some tea while you change?" Holly asked, breaking the tension.

"How about something stronger?"

"How about I put something stronger in the tea?"

"Sounds perfect," Gail replied.

Holly grabbed her kettle off the stove and began to fill it with hot water. She went to place it on the burner and was so startled as she turned to see Gail stripping in the middle of her living room, that she splashed water all down her front. Gail had taken off her shirt and was in the process of pulling off her pants.

_Look away you perv_, Holly's better side yelled at herself. _You're a doctor for god's sake._ Holly remained rooted in place, kettle held aloft like an idiot, as her eyes remained glued on Gail. Gail was now wearing only her underwear, and Holly reluctantly dragged her eyes away from her body and turned back to the stove.

Gail felt Holly's eyes rake over her, and she allowed herself a satisfied smirk. Holly softened her and pulled her guard down, but she was still Gail Peck. She wanted to knock Holly as off-kilter as she was around her. _How do you like my reflexes now_? Gail thought smugly.

Gail padded over to the bathroom to clean up before bed and laughed out loud when she caught sight of her reflection. She hadn't noticed that the black t-shirt she had pulled over her head was Star Wars themed.

When Gail returned to the living room, Holly was holding two steaming mugs of tea.

"It suits you," Holly said with a mischievous smile.

Gail was so busy concentrating on not allowing her eyes to wander, that she let the comment slide without a sarcastic retort.

Gail thanked Holly for the tea, and they curled up on the couch, Gail nuzzling back into Holly's shoulder. Gail took a sip of her tea, noting that it most definitely met her 'stronger' request.

"How are you feeling?" Holly asked softly.

"Scared," Gail sighed.

"I know you are worried about your friends, but I am here for you," Holly replied simply.

"I know you are. And thank you." But Gail hadn't only meant she was scared about Sam and Chloe. Though thoughts of them in the hospital dominated her worries, she was also utterly terrified of everything that she was feeling for the woman looking down at her with affection and compassion. As Gail looked into those big brown eyes, all she could think was, _I am in big trouble._

Gail made it halfway through her tea before her head began to droop from fatigue.

"Here let me take that," Holly said, taking the mug from Gail's hand and gently extracting herself from underneath Gail's body. "You should get into bed and get some sleep. I'll take the couch."

"Don't be ridiculous," Gail scoffed. "I'm not kicking you out of your own bed. Come sleep with me. Please."

It was self-preservation that had made Holly offer to sleep on the couch. But it was the 'please' that made her defenses crumble.

As they got under the covers, Gail immediately went to the crook in Holly's shoulder and rested her head. She rested her hand lightly on Holly's opposite hip and snuggled the side of her body into Holly. She felt warm and safe and quickly drifted into sleep.

Holly stared up at the ceiling. Her body responded achingly to Gail's, pressed up against her as it was. Holly admonished herself for her selfish desire. She knew Gail was vulnerable right now and needed support through this difficult time. She wouldn't take advantage – that's not how she wanted things to happen. She was only human though, and her body had always responded to Gail's, even when she didn't want it to.

"You are so beautiful," Holly whispered, looking at Gail's sleeping features. She looked peaceful, but even in sleep, Gail had a stubborn furrow to her brow. Holly felt affection swell in her chest for this woman who had barreled into her life with a snarky comment and a dirty look.

"I am in so much trouble," she whispered, staring back up at her bedroom ceiling.


	2. Solace Part 2

**Wow, really chuffed/happy with all the feedback from everyone. I usually write for my own personal edification, and this is my first time ever writing fanfic of any kind. You're all lovely, but I'm feeling the pressure now :)  
**

**Ragingscooter: The Buffy pint glasses were a cheeky touch from my own kitchen.**

**To everyone saying they want me to keep up the fluff and happiness, don't worry – I will. But I also think with a character like Gail, there is bound to be angst. The title of the story is very much about Gail, and her tendency to self-sabotage and the walls she puts up to protect herself. Underneath all that is a sensitive soul looking for the right person. I think these attributes make her a complicated and wonderful character. Just my interpretation. The road to love and happiness is a winding one anyways. Having said that, it's quite obvious I'm going to let these two be happy, so I'm not going to drag out the inevitable for long.**

**I am very much a fan of the slow burn. Having said that – screw that. Note the M rating above. I wanted to get in another chapter this week, as I am double-shifting at work all next week and wont be writing, so I thought I'd just get to it. If you are bashful about lady sex, maybe don't continue to read. **

**Let me know what you think. Happy Reading.**

* * *

**Solace Part 2**

Gail woke with a start, gasping as her body jolted awake. Her skin was covered in a sheen of cold sweat, and she was momentarily disoriented as she attempted to get her bearings.

_I'm at Holly's_.

_In Holly's bed_.

She realized that at some point in the night she had shifted her position and now found her head resting on Holly's sternum, her leg draped over her lower body. Gail snuck a peek up at Holly's face. She was completely peaceful, Gail's jolting body not even seeming to have disturbed her sleep a little bit. Gail envied the ability to sleep so soundly.

The fog began to clear from her drowsy mind, and it was then that Gail began to remember the nightmare that had so disturbed her sleep. She fell back onto the pillow next to Holly, covering her face with her hands. Gail pressed her fingers into her closed eyes, but the images trickled from her subconscious into her waking mind, as nightmares are want to do.

Gail was back in that basement of horrors, strapped down to a table and hooked up to an IV. He was hovering over her, smiling, looking at her like he was going to devour her. But in her nightmares she didn't make it off the table. This time it wasn't just Jerry who died. Chloe and Sam had also come to rescue her. Gail watched helplessly, unable to move, as the life drained from Chloe and Sam's veins. As the light in their eyes extinguished, he came back for her.

Gail shook her head, overwhelmed with negative emotions. She looked over at the woman next to her in bed and felt a desperate need surge through her. She needed to find solace. She wanted to replace all of the damaging emotions she was feeling with something good and pure. She wanted Holly to give that to her.

"Holly, wake up," Gail whispered, as she softly placed her hand on Holly's shoulder.

Gail gently rested her forehead against the side of Holly's head. "Holly, please wake up," she murmured.

Holly's eyes fluttered open and she looked blearily at Gail's form for a moment. As her eyes adjusted, Holly propped herself up on her elbow. Even in the dim light, Holly could see the burning look in Gail's piercing blue eyes.

"Gail, are you ok?" Holly asked, concerned.

In response, Gail grabbed her face with both hands, tangled her fingers into her hair, and crashed her mouth into Holly's. Though momentarily startled, Holly parted her lips and let Gail's tongue enter her mouth. Holly could feel the blind hunger emanating off of Gail, and was feeling herself lose control too, as she wrapped her arms around Gail's hips.

These sneak attacks were starting to become a habit between them. Holly pulled away before she lost her ability to reason. She saw a brief flash of hurt and confusion in Gail's eyes, before the blue irises pinned her back on the bed. This kiss had been different than any they had shared before - ferocious. They stared at each other for a moment, chests heaving for breath.

_This wasn't how I wanted this to happen_, Holly reminded herself. Gail certainly didn't look vulnerable at the moment though.

"Are you sure about this?" Holly asked, uncertainly. "With everything that's going on…I don't want to take advantage of you."

Gail pulled herself onto Holly's lap, straddling her waist. She kissed her deeply on the mouth. Gail pulled her t-shirt over her head and tossed it aside.

Holly's hesitation went along with the shirt. Her eyes fell to Gail's chest, and she placed both of her hands firmly over her breasts. Gail pushed herself into Holly's hands. She ran her fingers along Gail's ribs and down around her hips and ass, as she took Gail's breasts into her mouth. Gail emitted a low moan and pushed her body harder into Holly's.

Gail tugged on her shirt and Holly lifted her back off the bed, so Gail could pull it off. She found Gail's mouth again and ran her tongue along her lips and into her mouth. She reached her hand into Gail's shorts and felt the aroused wetness, as Gail moaned into her hair.

"Take them off," Holly husked.

Gail stood, pulling her bottoms off, then reached down and drew Holly's off, before dropping herself back onto Holly's lap. Holly entered her then, sliding one finger easily into her wetness. Gail gasped and pushed her hips down onto Holly, kissing her deeply. She pushed another finger into her, and Gail emitted a guttural moan.

Gail matched the rhythm of Holly's hand with her hips, pleasure coursing through her body with every thrust. Holly was leaving warm kisses along her collarbone and breasts, leaving her panting for breath, as she entwined her fingers through her dark hair.

Gail was losing control already, and she would be damned if this was going to end so quickly. She slowed the rolling of her hips and pulled Holly's face up, looking intimately into her eyes.

Holly got the message and drew her fingers out, taking firm hold of Gail's ass with both hands. Gail wrapped her legs completely around her waist, and Holly flipped her onto her back.

Thoughts of herself lying under Holly's naked body had been flashing into her mind without warning, since they had shared their first kiss. Gail realized what an absolute crap imagination she had, as the real-thing stared down at her, and her breasts grazed along Gail's stomach and chest.

Holly pulled at her earlobe with her teeth, ran warm kisses down her neck, and her tongue along her collarbone. She worked her mouth along her breasts and stomach, down to her hips. As Holly teased the area around her inner thighs, Gail clamped a hand down on the back of her head, telling the other woman exactly where her mouth should be.

Gail moaned again as Holly's tongue ran over the wetness between her legs, arching her back against the mattress. _What the hell is she doing down there that feels that good_? Gail thought. Gail pulled her head up so she could look down quickly at the back of Holly's head between her legs. She crashed back down onto the pillows, none the wiser. Whatever she had expected, this wasn't it. She could feel herself coming utterly undone.

"Fuuuuuuuck," Gail moaned, as Holly entered her with her tongue.

Gail thrust her hips towards Holly's mouth, tugging on one of her ears. Waves of pleasure cascaded over her, as Holly's tongue moved expertly. She let herself go this time.

"Oh god," Gail moaned, as she felt herself releasing.

Holly held on tight as Gail's body rocked and shuddered. She would savor every moment of vulnerability Gail had allowed herself to give, and every ounce of pleasure she knew she had been able to give to her in return.

When Gail's body relaxed, Holly dropped herself on the pillow next to her. They rested there for a moment, catching their breath, before turning to face each other. Holly could see a myriad of emotions run through Gail's eyes. She waited patiently for her to tell her just one of them.

"I'm not really sure what I'm doing," Gail finally whispered.

Gail had always been confident sexually. Sex for her was an end goal, not a process. This was different. She was suddenly very concerned about disappointing her partner.

"What should I do?" Gail asked, bringing her eyes back up to Holly's.

"You can do whatever you want."

Excitement coursed through Gail, not only at the words, but the husky way they were spoken. A voice Holly only seemed to use under very specific conditions.

Holly saw Gail's chest heave at her words, and she considered guiding the other woman's hands. _No, I want to know_.

Gail moved her mouth to Holly's, kissing her slowly, trying to narrow down a very thorough list of wants. She pressed her hand against Holly's shoulder and gently pushed her onto her back. Gail crawled over between her legs, and felt Holly's wetness as she pressed her thigh down. She worked her mouth over Holly's body, noting the perfection and beauty of every curve and dip.

The dull ache had increased in intensity until Holly couldn't take it anymore. She took Gail's hand in hers and folded down three of her fingers. She moaned with desire as Gail entered her. Gail's thrusts became less tentative, and Holly wrapped her legs around her, pulling her in deeper. After an eternal few moments, Gail pulled away and lowered her head down to Holly's waist.

Gail began to lick between Holly's wetness. _Am I doing this right_? she wondered. Holly wasn't making much sound. Gail lifted her head to see what Holly's face looked like. Holly was clutching a pillow to her face, which she now tossed aside.

"Don't stop," she pleaded down at Gail. Holly was finding it hard to believe that this was Gail's first time with a woman. She was finding it even harder to stop herself from tipping over the edge and ending these agonizing moments of pleasure.

Gail found her body aching in response to every escalating moan that Holly let out, until finally Holly's body tensed, shuddered, and collapsed in orgasm. Holly's responses had been even more exciting than the things that she had done to her first. Gail rested her head, spent, on Holly's stomach and placed a gentle kiss on her hip. She wasn't ready to look at Holly yet.

She finally pulled herself level with Holly's face, but as soon as she looked again into her warm brown eyes, she was embarrassed to find herself tearing up._ You've just ruined me Holly Stewart, and you don't even know it._ Gail felt a combination of joy and sadness, fear and contentment. She was embarrassed by her emotion and tucked her head down into Holly's shoulder.

Holly saw the tears in Gail's eyes, though she was trying to hide her face. She tipped Gail's face up to hers and gently wiped away her tears. She smiled down at her, but didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure what Gail was thinking, but didn't want to push her too far by forcing her to tell her what she was feeling. Instead she enveloped Gail in her warmth and held her close.

_You have no idea what you have done to me, do you?_ Holly thought, as she clung tightly to the beautiful woman in her arms.

Holly wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep, but when she awoke it was light out, and she was the sole occupant of her bed.

"Fuck, " Holly groaned to the empty room.


	3. Run, Baby, Run

**Again, the reviews are much appreciated. **

**Yup, angst. Going to give Gail a little time to process. I just listened to the song Same Mistakes by Echo Friendly on repeat as I wrote this week. A lot of Lykke Li for Chapters 1 and 2, in case you were interested. **

**Apparently double-shifting at work, actually meant having a lot of down time, with time to write and get paid for it. So this chapter is angsty, but I'm going to post the next chapter in a couple of days. I think the next chapter will make the angst worth it though. Maybe?**

**Also, I have thought of a fluff scene that I am so excited to write, I almost skipped ahead and wrote it first. **

**Let me know what you think. Happy Reading. **

* * *

**Chapter 3 Run, baby, run**

"Idiot," Gail sighed, as she fixed her hair in the mirror. She was getting ready for shift at the station and looked as tired as she felt.

Gail had found herself wide-awake at Holly's earlier this morning. She couldn't have calmed her mind or body for anything, after the intimacy they had shared. So she just lay there, staring at Holly as she slept. _Like a crazy person_, Gail thought.

She had felt so utterly overwhelmed, so undone by her emotions, that she had panicked. _I fled like a perp_, Gail rebuked herself. She hadn't even left a note. As soon as she had left, she regretted her decision, but she couldn't get back into the building, and a part of her was still telling her to run like hell. So she had continued her long walk of shame. This wasn't Gail's first walk of shame, but this one was different. For one thing, she wasn't hung-over. For another, she actually felt shame this time. Not for having slept with Holly, but for having left like she had. _What is wrong with me?_

Gail left the locker room, walked to the parade room, and slumped down in her chair, waiting for the morning brief to start.

* * *

Holly had never had a woman run-out on her before, never experienced the indignity of waking up naked and alone. She wasn't a fan. Holly hadn't needed to check the bathroom or the kitchen to know that Gail had done a runner. She had known as soon as she had woken-up and seen that Gail wasn't by her side.

_Gail warned me she was a runner_. _That silly cat metaphor she told me when we didn't even know each other, and I was wondering what the hell she was talking about. Still, I was hoping she wouldn't run on me._ Holly was concerned more than anything. She was also a bit bemused, as she often was with Gail.

Holly got ready for work and sat down to eat some breakfast before she headed out. Her eyes repeatedly wandered over to her silent phone. With a sigh, she finally picked it up. Holly wasn't a game-player; she was concerned about Gail, wanted to know how she was, so she was just going to text her.

**I had this really wonderful dream last night. Strangely enough I woke up naked, but it couldn't possibly have been real because –**

Holly hit the delete button. _No, that wasn't funny._

**I've never made a girl cry before. Was it that bad –**

Holly quickly hit the delete button again. _That's not even a little funny. _She didn't want to come across as pressuring Gail, but humour didn't seem like the way to go either.

Instead of trying to be clever, she finally just wrote: **Are you ok?** and hit send. Holly stared pensively at her phone for a moment, then left for the morgue.

* * *

Gail's phone vibrated in her pocket. Her heart raced when she saw that she had a text from Holly. Her heart thumped heavily in her chest as she opened the message. _Am I ok? I really don't know how to even begin to answer that question right now. _Frank walked into the room to begin the briefing. Gail pocketed her phone and sat-up a little straighter, as Frank began to talk.

"I want to start-out by making an announcement: I am very happy to tell you that Chloe is awake and doing much better," he said, relief etched on his face. "Doctors say she is recovering faster than they could have hoped for."

Gail felt relief flood her body. She was especially relieved for Dov's sake. Chloe came across as a goof, but she was obviously a fighter. And besides, Chloe was quintessentially herself, and Gail begrudgingly admired that.

"I'm very sorry that I am not able to give the same news about Sam yet," Frank continued, somberly. "He remains in critical condition. I know this is a very difficult time for everyone. But it is exactly in these difficult times, when we need to come together as a family. We are obviously short-handed right now, and I'm going to need all of you to step-up. I'm looking for volunteers to take extra shifts right now…"

Gail's hand immediately shot-up. Drowning herself in work seemed like the perfect thing to do right now. Nick also raised his hand. Gail looked over at him and arched her brow. The irony wasn't lost on her. They were both trying to avoid their personal lives, but for very different reasons, that had nothing to do with each other anymore.

At the end of the brief, Frank went down the list of who was riding together.

"…Peck and Collins…" he announced.

Nick cast a wary glance over at Gail, but her face could have been carved from stone.

"Because of course I am," Gail muttered under her breath.

* * *

Holly was having trouble concentrating at work. She was becoming more worried and more frustrated every hour she didn't hear from Gail. She was like an obsessive compulsive checking her phone. She told herself to stop checking, but it was as if her hand had a mind of its own.

She also couldn't stop thinking about last night. She couldn't stop thinking about how adorable Gail looked in her Star Wars t-shirt. How nice it was to have her in her home. She couldn't stop thinking about holding her and kissing her and going to bed with her. She knew she could get used to having all of that, but didn't want to admit how much she wanted it already.

She also couldn't stop thinking about Gail's naked body. The way her eyes burned with desire. The look on her face when she felt pleasure, the sounds that she made. The softness of Gail's skin pressed against hers. The way that Gail had touched her body…

Holly shook her head, escaping from her reverie. As a forensic pathologist, thinking about sex at work was more than a little weird. _Get it together Holly_, she implored herself.

She checked her phone one more time.

* * *

Gail and Nick hadn't said a superfluous word to each other, since their shift together had started. They had gone through their morning and afternoon tasks together, taking various calls, and only speaking when they needed to communicate about the job. In the long moments of silence in the squad car, Gail's mind would wander to thoughts of last night.

She thought about Holly's cozy little apartment. The way Holly had taken care of her when she needed her, just like she always had for the brief time that Gail had known her. She thought about how safe she felt in her arms, how natural it felt to fall asleep there. If she was honest with herself, she couldn't think of anywhere else she would rather be.

Gail knew her face was flushed every time she thought of Holly's naked body. Nick would give her a puzzled look, when he caught her thinking about Holly wrapping her legs around her._ Dumbass probably thinks I'm flushed because I'm sitting next to him._ This thought made Gail snort with derision, and Nick cast another uncertain glance in her direction.

Gail hadn't ever really thought about being with women before she met Holly. Sex usually satisfied, left her finished and ready to move on, but not with Holly. Having her only made her want her more. Her desire was endless; she didn't think her need could be satiated. Gail had allowed herself to be completely vulnerable, sexually, for the first time in her life, and it scared the ever-living hell out of her. She didn't know what this meant in the grand scheme of things, but she could no longer deny it.

She didn't want to think about that right now.

With a sigh, she turned to Nick in the driver's seat of the squad. "I'm not mad anymore," she said almost inaudibly.

"Sorry, did you say something?" he asked.

"I said I'm not angry anymore," Gail yelled, too loudly this time. "About you and Andy. If you want to be together, you should be. Be happy…with each other…together."

Nick was so shocked he almost swerved into the oncoming traffic barreling down the opposite side of Bathurst Street. He jerked the wheel back, and glanced over at Gail, mouth agape.

"Um…" Nick replied. Nick considered telling her that he didn't really need her permission. But he knew Gail was being charitable. He knew it must have taken a lot for her to say something like that to him. "Thank you," he said, finally.

"You know, if she decides she doesn't want to be with Sam," she said, in her very Gailish way.

"And she's back, " Nick mumbled.

"But I mean it," Gail said, voice softening. "Be with whoever makes you happy, no matter what."

"What's gotten into you?" Nick said, baffled.

Gail sighed. "I don't know. I'm working some stuff out. I'll get back to you."

* * *

Holly was in bed, but she couldn't sleep. She still hadn't heard from Gail, and it was driving her crazy. In her mind, she weighed the implications of pressuring Gail by contacting her again and her own desire to find out what the hell was going on in that complex, blonde head.

Holly picked up her phone and dialed Gail's number. The call went to voicemail.

"Gail, it's me. I don't want to push you into anything, ok? I don't know if you're freaked-out because you slept with a woman for the first time...or what. But I've spent my day thinking about you. Worrying about you. I deserve better than to be left in bed, without even a note. I deserve better than to be ignored. Let me know if you are ok. Let me know something, Gail. Bye."

Holly ended the call and placed her forearm along her tired eyes.

* * *

Gail listened to Holly's voicemail for the fourth time. A small part of her was just thrilled to hear her voice; a larger part of her felt guilty and ashamed at how she was acting.

Gail struggled to sort through her emotions. Frankly, Gail didn't care that Holly was a woman. She didn't care that her friends, her family, society, would want her to put a label on her feelings. She was only frightened by the depth of her emotion, the depth of her attraction. She had literally run from it. And now here she sat, no closer to the courage she would need to let herself go and feel that way for another human being.

Gail opened her text history for Holly, her thumb hovering over the keyboard on her screen. It's not you, it's me, was a bullshit thing to say, even if it was the truth, so she wasn't going to say that. Gail struggled to find the words.

**Holly, I just need some time to work some things out. Can I please have some time to do that? I'm sorry for the way I left.**

Gail resisted the urge to type a million other things. Holly absolutely deserved better than this. Gail really did need time to think though. She wouldn't say anything else, until she had figured things out.

Gail's phone buzzed.

**Ok, take the time that you need. I'll be here.**

"Please be patient with me," Gail sighed.


	4. Revelations and Resolutions

**Ok first thing - I got cussed out a little for Chapter 3 haha. I think I stayed true to Gail though. She's an imperfect person, which makes me love her character so much. **

**Sticking with me for Chapter 4? Fun chapter for me to write, so I hope you enjoy it.**

**Let me know what you think. Happy reading.**

* * *

**Chapter 4 Revelations and Resolutions**

The next few days passed by in a flash for Gail. She worked. She went home. She slept. Gail threw herself into her double-shifts. It meant she could avoid her feelings. She was too exhausted to think when she got home and just collapsed into sleep.

She went from call to call. She even relished the drunk and disorderly calls they got. One of these disorderlies puked on her shoes. _No problem, I can handle vomit on my shoes! Thank you intoxicated sir! Let me take your drunk ass to lockup!_

She didn't blow a fuse when some jackass in a Maserati called her a bitch for pulling him over for going twice the legal limit on the Gardiner late at night. _Anger is an emotion I am familiar with! Hands behind your back, you're going to jail!_

Gail was elevating avoidance to an art form, and the craziness at work was enabling her. Just as long as she didn't slow done.

* * *

Holly had been going through the motions these last few days. She focused heavily on work, and was so far ahead on paperwork, journals, and the like, that she could have taken a couple of personal days and not fallen behind.

Holly took her paperwork home with her and when that began to dry up, she would watch old sci-fi movies on her laptop. She didn't want to go out. If it had been professionally respectable, she would have just stayed in her pajamas 24/7.

_This is pathetic._ She had told Gail she would give her time, but her life felt like it was on pause now. She was tempted to come up with another lame excuse to go to the station, but she resisted the urge._ Get your shit together, Stewart._

When her co-workers decided to go out for drinks at the end of the day, Holly had readily agreed to go. She pretended so hard to be having fun, that she ended up actually enjoying herself.

Once she was back in bed though, trying to fall asleep, Gail crept back into her thoughts. _How much time do you need, Gail?_

Another day passed.

* * *

Gail found herself in an uncomfortably silent moment in the locker room at the precinct, after her shift had ended. She hung her head and rubbed at her tired eyes. The door opened behind her. _Saved!_

Traci walked in and found Gail sitting with her head in her hands.

"Are you ok, Gail?" Traci asked.

"Just tired," Gail sighed, forcing some semblance of a smile onto her face.

Gail tried to smile at her, but it ended up looking more like a grimace. She knew Gail had been working hard, but the look in Gail's eyes seemed like more than just fatigue.

"Have you seen Holly lately?" Traci asked her. Though Gail certainly hadn't said anything, any fool could have seen the way that the two of them had looked at each other whenever they were together.

Gail's head snapped up so quickly, Traci was afraid she had hurt herself. Gail had tried to compose herself, but Traci had seen the mask come down for a moment.

"Why do you ask?" Gail sighed.

"Listen, I don't want to pry…"

"Then don't."

"Ok, I'll leave you to it then…" Traci turned and started to walk away. She stopped suddenly and turned back around.

"Listen Gail, when Jerry died I thought I would never love again. I didn't want to. I thought the pain wasn't worth it in the end. But that was just my grief. I wont live my life that way. That isn't a real life, to live closed-off from the world. You have to just let yourself go sometimes. Be brave enough to give yourself completely to another person."

Gail had been glaring at her since she had opened her mouth, but Traci watched with surprise and then compassion, as Gail's face crumpled with emotion. Traci placed a firm hand on Gail's shoulder; she knew she wasn't really a hugger. She was astonished when Gail stood up and threw her arms around her in a fierce hug.

"I've acted like such a fool," Gail said, her voice thick with emotion.

"It's never too late to try and make things right," Traci said, hugging Gail back. "The worst that will happen is you'll make a fool of yourself, and as you just said, you've already done that, so…"

Gail released her from the embrace with such sudden force, that Traci almost fell over. Gail grabbed her bag and ran from the room. Traci stared after her, bewildered at the sudden exit. Then the door came crashing open again.

"I forgot my shoes," Gail said, sheepishly. She bent over and quickly pulled on her shoes, blushing from ear to ear. "You're like Buddha, you know that. Thanks for the advice."

Gail ran from the room a second time.

Gail dialed her phone, while she drove. She had pulled someone over for distracted driving earlier that day. _I'm a terrible police officer. I'll write myself a ticket. _Traci's words had been like a splash of icy water in her face. Like a slap in the face, it had woken her up. It all seemed so obvious now. _What have I been doing these last few days?_

The phone rang and rang, then went to voicemail.

"Holly, it's me. I'm driving dangerously on the way to your place right now. Please, let me up when I get there. I really need to talk to you." Gail tossed her phone onto the passenger seat and pushed her foot down a little harder on the pedal.

_Please be home._

* * *

Holly had been watching Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman on her Mac, with her headphones in, and hadn't heard her phone buzz. She absentmindedly turned her phone on to check the time, when she saw with a thrill that she had a missed call from Gail. Holly's heart thudded in her chest, as she waited for the voicemail to begin.

"Holly, it's me. I'm driving dangerously on the way to your place right now. Please let me up when I get there. I really need to talk to you."

Holly's heart felt like it was in her throat now. "End of message. To delete this message, push 7. To save - " Holly ended the call and tossed her phone aside. Gail was on her way here right now.

There was a sudden knock on her door. Holly froze. _Someone must have let Gail in. So go answer it, Holly!_

Holly got up from the couch and went over to her front door. She pulled it open to find a very flustered-looking Gail Peck.

"I'm a coward," Gail began, without preamble or preface. She made no attempt to step inside, but hurried on. Holly listened, standing on the threshold of her apartment, door wide-open. "It took a trauma for me to do something with you I really wanted to do – and even then I ran - it's not the gay thing – please believe me – I ran because it was too good…I felt too much. Who does that? In the station…I knew everyone would be able to see it all over my face – I just wanted you to be mine alone, just for a little longer - I haven't stopped thinking about you – you have legs for days – has anyone ever told you that? – FOR DAYS – But it's not just a sex thing – but the sex thing - A+ - I don't know why I just gave you a grade – that was idiotic – I look at you and my mind goes there – sorry.…What I'm trying to say is this - I really fucking like you. I like your crooked smiles and your brown eyes. I like that you're kind of weird – I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm sort of weird too – but I think you get me. You make me want to be better. You do make me better – I don't want to make the same mistakes. You, Holly Stewart, are my game-changer. I want to be with you - "

"Stop talking," Holly said, finally interrupting Gail.

Gail's heart sank for a moment. But then Holly's mouth was pressing into hers. She had taken ahold of the front of her shirt and was pulling her into her apartment. Holly pushed the door closed behind her, then pushed Gail up against the door.

"I almost forgot my shoes." Gail was having trouble stopping the flood of honesty, now that she had started.

Holly covered her mouth with a firm kiss, ignoring her, and Gail put her tongue to better use in Holly's mouth.

Holly had listened to Gail's words with escalating joy, and not a little bewilderment. Any hurt she had felt had quickly melted away with Gail's display of vulnerability. Now she just wanted Gail's clothes off.

Holly pulled Gail away from the door long enough to yank her top off and then pushed her back. She ran her mouth along Gail's cleavage, before undoing the strap of her bra; Gail let it fall to the floor. Gail tried to undress Holly, but the other woman kept pushing her hands firmly back against the door. Holly pulled her own shirt off. Gail let Holly take complete control.

Holly was kissing her with such urgency, that she couldn't catch her breath. A few days apart, had felt more like a few months, and Gail could tell Holly was feeling the same hunger. Holly undid her pants and then her fingers were inside her, and Gail's whole body was on fire.

Gail was moaning in her ear, and with each sound, Holly's desire intensified. She took a moment to pull off Gail's pants and underwear, before she was back inside her. She had leveraged Gail up against the door, and Gail clung tightly, arms around her. Gail lifted one of her legs up, pressing it against Holly's hip. Holly held her up, with her free hand behind Gail's knee. Neither of them had any patience, and after only a moment, Gail's moans rose, and Holly felt her orgasaming around her fingers.

They both stood, Gail leaning against the door and Holly leaning on Gail, panting for breath. Holly gently lowered Gail's leg to the floor. She saw the forceful look in Gail's eyes, as Gail took her by the hips and switched their positions, so now Holly was leaning against the front door. Gail kissed her deeply, while she pulled her pants off. She hooked her thumbs into Holly's underwear and slowly pulled them down. Then she dropped to her knees in front of Holly.

Gail felt a surge of excitement as she looked up at Holly's face and saw the all-consuming yearning staring down at her. Gail placed her tongue between Holly's legs and heard her gasp. As her tongue found a rhythm, Holly placed her hand firmly on the back of Gail's head, tangling her fingers in her hair. Holly wrapped one leg over Gail's shoulder, and Gail placed her hand behind Holly's ass, holding her up and pulling her forward. She had missed the taste of Holly's body.

As each wave of ecstasy passed over Holly, she could feel her legs weakening. She placed her free arm behind her head, but found no real purchase. Just when she thought she couldn't hold on any longer, she felt her body tip-over the edge into a leg-buckling orgasm.

They both fell in a heap on the floor, clothes strewn around them.

"I did notice," Holly said, after a moment.

"Notice what?"

Holly untangled her limbs from Gail's, so she could prop herself up and look at her face.

"That you're weird. Weirder than me, I think," Holly said, laughing at the indignant look on Gail's face."

"You spend your days with dead people," Gail hooted. "There is no way."

"We'll see. Do you want some ice cream?" Holly asked, placing a kiss on Gail's shoulder.

"Um, yeah I do. Do you have chocolate sauce?"

"Of course."

"Dream woman."


	5. First Date

**Your Chapter 4 reviews were hilarious, so thank you for that.**

**Let me know what you think about Chapter 5. Happy reading. **

**Chapter 5 First Date**

Gail's hectic schedule at work had continued, but instead of going home alone, she had slept every night at Holly's. Between work and Holly, Gail was utterly exhausted. No amount of exhaustion, however, could dampen the bliss that Gail was feeling, since she had spilled her guts to Holly. She had laid herself bare, naked in her vulnerability, and Holly had acted with compassion and understanding. And then they had laid each other bare, in a very different, more enjoyable, kind of way. Every time Gail thought about it, she knew her face broke out into a dopey grin. She would catch herself and try to compose her features into a more serious, professional kind of face.

In the days before she had confessed her feelings to Holly, Gail had thrown herself into her work. She had relished the most difficult calls, because they were a distraction from her own loneliness. Now the difficult calls didn't bother her for a very different reason. She walked around in an impenetrable bubble of happiness. She walked with a bounce in her step. She found herself shooting little finger guns and winking at her fellow officers, until Chris had confronted her, and told her she was freaking everyone out.

All of the horrible, shitty things that had happened over the past weeks seemed to be resolving themselves positively. Chloe had just come home from the hospital, though she was restricted to bed-rest. She had apologized profusely, in a raspy, injured voice, to Dov for not mentioning that she happened to have a husband. Dov, of course, had taken one look at her bandaged neck and pale face, and had forgiven her instantly. He was now doting on her at home. Last night, they had gotten word that Sam was finally conscious and would be moved from the ICU. Things were looking up all around, and Gail couldn't remember a time she had had such a sunny disposition towards life.

Gail was getting ready for morning parade, when Andy walked into the locker room, and it felt like the sudden scratching of a record. Gail hadn't had to interact with Andy since their hospital confrontation, and that had been just fine by her. She had been able to forgive Nick, because he was a former lover, and she truly didn't have those feelings for him anymore. They had both made mistakes, but now it was over. Andy's betrayal had cut much deeper though, because it had been the betrayal of a friend.

Andy sat down next to her, while Gail attempted to studiously ignore her while tying her shoes.

"Sam's awake and doing better," Andy said, quietly.

"Yeah, I heard," Gail replied, uncomfortably. "That's great news."

"I don't know what to do Gail."

She watched in horror, as Andy began to cry. Gail just sat there awkwardly for a moment, annoyed that she had to be there for this.

"Oh, for god's sake," Gail sighed. She patted Andy awkwardly on the back, harder than was necessary. "It'll be ok."

Andy grabbed Gail into a hug. "I'm so sorry Gail. Can you please just forgive me? I miss you."

"um, Andy…we talked about this. This isn't really how I communicate."

"Right, sorry." Andy released her, and looked pleadingly into Gail's eyes.

Gail looked at Andy's tear-streaked face and thought about how good it had felt when Holly had forgiven her. Holly really was making her a better person.

Gail let out another big sigh. "I forgive you, ok? If you want to be with Nick, that's fine by me. I'm not going to get in the way of anyone's happiness."

Andy's face went from relief to pain at Gail's words. "That's the problem – I don't know who I want to be with. No matter what I choose, someone is going to get hurt."

"Yeah, you're right, someone is going to get hurt. But you cant always be the 'good guy', Andy. You aren't perfect. You need to decide what's going to make you happy. Think about who you can't live without, and your decision should be easy."

"You're right, Gail…That was very insightful of you…You seem different." Andy looked at Gail, quizzically. "Holly?"

"Yeah, Holly." Gail couldn't help smiling at the mention of her name.

"I'm happy for you, Gail."

"I'm happy for me too. You better hustle your ass, or you're going to be late for parade."

Gail walked from the room, smile plastered on her face. The next officer she saw in the hall got the finger gun and wink.

* * *

It was a good thing that she and Andy had made peace, because they were riding together all day. Andy had asked her a bunch of questions about Holly, and Gail had found herself gushing about it all. Andy had seemed surprised, but pleased for her. She had squirmed a bit, when Gail mentioned how earth shattering the sex was.

"Like, universe-destroying," Gail effused, enthusiastically.

"Oh, wow, um…that's really great, Gail," Andy had replied, awkwardly.

While talking about Holly, Gail had come to the sudden realization that they hadn't actually gone out on a real date yet. The wedding and the batting cages hadn't really counted, since they had still been trying to be just friends at that point. Gail reveled in her time alone with Holly, but she had the sudden desire to take her out. And she wanted Holly to know that she didn't just want to hide away with her in bed. Gail got off early from work that night and had the next day off. She was suddenly very excited.

Gail pulled out her phone and opened her messages to Holly.

**Hol, I just realized that I haven't taken you out on a date, like the proper lady that you are. I'm off at 5 tonight, and I don't have to work tomorrow. Will you go out on a date with me?**

Holly's reply was quick.

**I was a proper lady until I met you. You better take me somewhere really classy to make up for it. I would love to go on a date with you. Dinner?**

Gail had that dopey smile back on her face.

**Yes, dinner. Since I normally eat Cheetos and doughnuts, maybe you should pick the place. My treat, obviously. **

* * *

Holly was as giddy as a schoolgirl being asked out for the first time. She was beyond caring at this point though and just let herself be a dork about Gail. This was their first real date, and she wanted it to be special. She thought about where they should go for dinner. Toronto had such an endless list of different restaurants, but Holly wanted it to be perfect. She had jokingly told Gail that she wanted to go somewhere classy, and there were any number of posh, elegant restaurants to choose from. But she also knew that Gail would be uncomfortable in a stuffy, expensive restaurant, and that wasn't really Holly's style anyways. _Gail would want to go somewhere with meat…and fries…_Holly knew the perfect place - casual, but nice, with delicious food that Gail would actually want to eat.

**Holly: Marben 7? It's in the Fashion District, just off King. I can make us a reservation.**

**Gail: I'll make the reservation, and I'll pick you up.**

**Holly: You keep playing your cards right, and you might just get lucky tonight.**

**Gail: I don't put-out on the first date.**

That one made Holly laugh-out-loud. Her phone buzzed again.

**Gail: Let me be clear - that was a joke. I very much look forward to getting lucky tonight.**

Holly let that one hang there for a while, before she texted back.

**Holly: See you tonight then.**

Holly spent the rest of her day with a grin plastered all over her face. A bit strange given where she worked, but Holly had always been a bit of an odd-ball at the morgue.

It hadn't mattered how late Gail had gotten off work this week, Holly had welcomed her into her bed. Holly was exhausted, and couldn't have cared less. Her body ran on pure happiness-induced adrenaline. Gail had finally let her walls down, and Holly couldn't believe how great it felt.

* * *

Gail stood in front of the mirror, holding another outfit over her body. Her hair was still wet, and she wore nothing but a towel. The majority of her closet's contents were strewn over the bed. She had been trying to decide what to wear for the last 15 minutes, and she was no closer to her final decision.

_What the hell do I wear on my first date with a woman?_ Gail wondered. She figured that Holly would probably be wearing pants. _So what does that mean for me? I really should have done some research._

* * *

Holly stood in front of the mirror, trying to decide what to wear. All she knew was that she wanted to knock Gail out with her outfit. She decided on tight, black pants and a shirt that showed off a generous amount of cleavage. Since their first day in the morgue together, Gail had not been able to keep her eyes from her cleavage. Holly secretly enjoyed watching Gail struggle to keep her eyes away. This had been especially true at the wedding, after Gail had had some champagne.

The thought made Holly have an epiphany, and she laughed aloud, as she imagined what Gail was probably doing at this very moment. She pulled out her phone.

**Holly: Gail, you're trying to figure out what to wear on your first date with a woman, aren't you?**

**Gail: Maybe…**

**Gail: I'm going to be late. Help me.**

**Holly: There aren't any rules, you dork. Wear whatever you want.**

**Holly: You will look beautiful in whatever, Gail.**

* * *

Gail's whole body went warm, as she read Holly's last text. She also realized she was being really stupid again. She pulled a nice dress out of the pile on her bed, and quickly finished getting ready.

Anticipation coursed through Gail's body as she drove over to Holly's place. Gail felt equal measures excited and nervous. _It's just dinner. With Holly. _Gail had always felt unusually comfortable talking with Holly, spending time with her, but her stomach trembled with butterflies now. _We've hung-out before._ But this was different, and no amount of self-reassurance could convince Gail to relax.

Gail texted Holly when she got to her building and waited in the car for her to come down. Finding street-parking in central Toronto was unrealistic, plus Gail was worried that if she went upstairs and saw Holly looking like Holly, they wouldn't make it out on their date.

Her heart beat a little harder when Holly stepped out of her building and walked towards Gail's car. As she got into the car, Gail tried heroically not to stare at Holly's cleavage. She failed utterly.

"Hey," Holly said, flashing her crooked smile.

"Hi," Gail replied, suddenly shy. "You look really great."

"Thanks, so do you."

Gail allowed herself to take Holly in for a moment. Great didn't begin to cover it. Holly leaned over and placed a kiss on Gail's mouth. Gail started to drive, while she still had the capacity to do so.

* * *

Holly sat back in her chair and gazed at the stunning woman across from her. It had taken no effort to convince Gail that you couldn't eat at Marben without getting the short-rib burger. Gail had eaten all of her generous portion of burger and fries. She had then proceeded to eat the fries off of Holly's plate without asking. Holly was now watching her polish off the 'cookies and milk for three', which had really been more like 'for one'. She knew that Gail liked to eat, but this was an impressive performance even for her.

They had talked and laughed throughout the meal. Holly loved Gail's wicked sense of humour, though she knew that some people found it crass and insensitive. But Holly could give as good as she got with Gail.

She watched with quiet amusement as Gail ran her finger along the now empty plate, scooping up the last traces of chocolate. She was surprised that Gail hadn't abandoned civility completely and just licked the plate.

"When did you first know you were gay?" Gail asked suddenly, now that her mouth was empty.

"Well, it wasn't like a blinding epiphany or anything," Holly replied. "It was more like a gradual understanding."

"OK, so when did you start to suspect?"

Holly smiled across at Gail. "If I tell you this, you have to promise not to make fun of me."

"I can make no such promise. Just tell me."

"Fine. I was eight-years-old, and I was watching Star Wars for the first time -"

Gail did an inelegant spit-take into her wine glass. "Of course this is how the story is going to begin. You really are the queen of the nerds."

"Do you want me to tell you or not?"

"OK, I'll shut up. Please tell me."

"So I was eight –"

"Wait, did you have little glasses back then?"

"Yessss…"

"OK, just trying to get a good visualization of a miniature eight-year-old Holly in my head. Tragically adorable. Got it. Please, continue."

Holly glared across the table, trying to hide a smile. "So I was eight-years-old, and I was watching Star Wars for the first time. And I fell totally in love with Princess Leia. I wanted to be Han Solo so bad, I went as him for Halloween for the next four years. We dressed the dog up as Chewbacca and everything. I may have gone out in my Han Solo costume when it wasn't actually Halloween too. Of course at the time, I didn't realize what my feelings meant. It took me a number of years before I realized that that was the first time I had fallen in love with a woman – hindsight being 20/20 and all that."

"Wow. Just…Wow."

* * *

Gail had listened to Holly's ridiculous story with increasing affection. It was the most adorable thing she had ever heard, but she wasn't about to let that out. _Is it possible to be jealous of an eight-year-olds crush on a fictional character? I have got it so bad._ She stretched her foot out and drew it along the inside of Holly's calf and was rewarded with a smile.

"Will you tell me something I don't know about you?" Holly asked her.

"I wake up every morning excited because you are in my life," Gail said, without hesitation or thought.

"Wow, I just meant, like, did you have any pets growing up?"

"Oh…yeah…I might have over-shot a little there," Gail blushed. It was the truth though.

Holly was looking at her very seriously all of a sudden.

"OK, now you have to tell me something else about yourself, and it has to be something better than a childhood pet," Gail said, breaking the tension.

"Alright." Holly thought for a moment. "Do you remember when I kissed you in the coat-check room?"

"Duh."

"And I called you insane?"

"I remember, Holly."

"What I had really wanted to say was – 'you are beautiful, you know that right?' But sometimes I use humour when I'm nervous, to defuse the tension. So I called you insane instead. I found myself kissing you, and it wasn't planned - my lips just acted without my brain."

Holly was blushing now, and Gail was enjoying every moment of it.

"I make you nervous?" Gail smiled mischievously.

"…Plus, fleece and backpacks, that doesn't make a lot of sense. More like flannel and leather," Holly continued, looking anywhere but at Gail.

"You're doing it right now, aren't you?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Why am I making you nervous?"

"Because I really want to take you home right now."

Holly's words left a physical impression on her body. She turned around in her seat looking for their server.

"Waiter," Gail said, waving her arm. "Can we get the bill?" She looked over at Holly again. "Please."

_Oh god, I am a walking cliché_, Gail thought, not actually caring one bit.

* * *

When they got back to Holly's, they hadn't been able to make it as far as the bedroom before giving in completely to their desires. They had made it to the kitchen counter, the couch, and finally the floor, however. Gail considered this an achievement, under the circumstances.

Holly had kept her hand on Gail's upper leg the whole drive home, gently rubbing her inner thigh, and causing Gail's whole body to thrum with tension. When Gail had finally parked, she pulled Holly into a starved kiss, and it took all of her willpower not to just pull her into the backseat. When they had gotten into the elevator, Holly had pressed up against her and slowly ran her hand up the inside of Gail's dress. When Holly had found the wetness between her legs, she had seriously considered pressing the emergency stop button. They had somehow gotten through the front door, though the undressing process had already started out in the hall. After they had caught their breath, they had retreated to the bed, leaving their clothes behind.

Gail looked over at Holly, who was lying facedown on her pillow. She traced the contours of Holly's body with her eyes. Lust coursed through Gail's body again. She scooted over so she was lying pressed up against Holly's side and began to trace the curves of her body with the back of her hand and fingers. Holly gave a muffled moan of pleasure.

Gail inched her body down a little lower and placed a kiss on Holly's lower back. She ran her hand between Holly's legs and watched as Holly's body shuddered in response. Gail lowered the side of her body onto Holly, her breasts along Holly's back. Holly bent her opposite leg, lifting her hip slightly off the bed, so that Gail could enter her with her fingers. Holly let out a muffled cry of pleasure. Gail continued to thrust into her, leaving warm kisses along her neck, ribs and back. Holly's back arched in response.

Gail took Holly by the hips and turned her over onto her back. She pushed her tongue into her mouth, as she pushed her fingers back into Holly. Holly's breathing was becoming heavier, and she nipped at Gail's lower lip, pulling down.

"Harder," Holly husked into Gail's ear.

Gail did as told, and Holly buried her head into Gail's shoulder, biting down, before giving a final, shuddering moan.

They didn't move from their positions until Holly's breathing had slowed considerably. Holly finally opened her eyes and looked at Gail. Her eyes burned with such intensity, that Gail was both excited and intimidated.

Holly reached down between Gail's legs, making her gasp. She pushed Gail down onto the mattress and placed herself firmly between Gail's legs. Gail hadn't thought that anything could feel better than having Holly's mouth between her legs, until Holly continued that while she pushed her fingers inside of her at the same time, matching rhythms. Gail's world dropped away for those few precious moments.

"Oh god," Gail moaned, as she felt her body releasing again.

Once Gail's body had relaxed, Holly rested her head on Gail's hip, too spent to move. "Best first date ever," she mumbled sleepily.


	6. Inexorable

**So my wife informs me that one of the scenes near the end of this chapter was sort of done on Friends years ago. I never saw it, so I assure you this was an original (or so I thought) idea. I'm not changing it though, dammit. This is the scene I've been waiting to write from the start.**

**I've also been thinking about doing some one-offs, possibly taking a small break from this specific story. Is there a preference?**

**Let me know what you think. Happy reading.**

* * *

**Chapter 6 Inexorable **

The soft morning light, coming through the window, slowly brought Gail into wakefulness. She gave a languorous stretch, reaching out for Holly, but came up empty. Gail frowned as she confirmed that Holly was no longer in bed with her. With a grumble, she dragged herself out of bed and shuffled over to Holly's closet.

She scanned over the contents of the closet, first confirming that there was, in fact, no fleece. She found the biggest, warmest-looking flannel and pulled it on over her naked body. Gail padded over to the bedroom's en-suite and washed her face, brushed her teeth and pulled her hair back into a loose bun. Then she went to find out what possible explanation Holly could have for leaving her in bed so early.

Holly was not in the apartment, but there was fresh coffee brewing in the kitchen. Gail poured herself a cup and sat down with the paper to wait for Holly to return from wherever she had gone.

* * *

Holly opened her front door to find Gail drinking coffee, reading the paper, and wearing nothing but her favourite flannel shirt and a disgruntled look. Holly's eyes scanned up Gail's legs, but the pout on Gail's face broke her reverie. Holly laughed.

"I woke up and you weren't there, and I didn't know where you had gone," Gail grumbled.

"I can't imagine what that's like," Holly replied, dryly.

Gail looked immediately apologetic.

"Too soon to joke about it?" Holly laughed.

"Please don't remind me what an ass I can be," Gail sighed.

"But it's my new favourite hobby."

Gail stuck out her tongue. "I thought we were going to be lazy and not get out of bed all morning," Gail said, getting the conversation back to the present.

"I brought French toast...I could just throw it out if you don't want it…"

"No! No, I obviously want it," Gail said, a little too loudly. "Thank you."

"I thought so," Holly laughed. She put the paper bag on the kitchen counter and leaned across to give Gail a kiss.

"That suits you," Holly said, nodding at the flannel. "Especially without pants."

Gail flashed a smile at her, mouth already stuffed with French toast.

"I'm going to get us some plates," Holly said, laughing again.

Holly had stabbed Gail in the hand with her plastic fork in an attempt to protect what was left of her own French toast, once Gail had scarfed her own. But she had come back a second time, and Holly had just allowed it. She was learning to order extra food.

"Hey, listen, I need to go into work for a few hours today," Holly said. "But I was thinking maybe we could make dinner here tonight, if you don't have any plans."

"No plans," Gail replied. "I guess I should really go home for a bit. I can't remember the last time I did laundry. But I would love to make dinner with you tonight. Though I warn you now, I can only be given the simplest tasks in the kitchen. I'm more of an eater, than a cooker."

Holly contemplated the sudden turn that her life had taken recently, as she watched Gail clean up their breakfast. She and Gail were spending all of their free time together, and she still couldn't get enough. Holly laughed to herself, when she considered that Gail wouldn't appreciate the lesbian U-Haul stereotype. Holly had never fit the stereotype before. She liked being single, dating, enjoying her own life and work, and wasn't looking to rush into any sort of serious relationship. Then she had met Gail, and everything she thought she knew and felt was turned upside down. It made Holly nervous. She was also wary of rushing Gail, though the other woman had shown no signs of fear since her doorway proclamation. Holly wondered if Gail knew that she was her game-changer too. She didn't think so. Things were going so well though, Holly decided just to allow herself this bliss and not worry about tomorrow.

* * *

Gail walked into her apartment, shuffling through the large pile of mail she had accumulated. _I should probably pay my bills._

"Don't move or I'll call the police!" Dov yelled. "Who are you and what are you doing in my home?"

"Hardy har har," Gail replied, rolling her eyes.

"Seriously, where the hell have you been?" Dov laughed.

"She's been having lots and lots of Sapphic sex," Chloe laughed, popping her head up from the couch. Her voice was still scratchy, and she was still sporting a large bandage on her neck, but she looked happy.

"You're lucky you got shot," Gail said, glaring blue daggers at her.

"We are very happy for you. And for us," Dov laughed. "Has someone finally tamed the mighty Gail Peck?"

Gail rolled her eyes and went to go get her dirty laundry. The truth was that once Gail had let herself go, she had fallen hard. She was mildly embarrassed how much time she was spending with Holly, and the fact that it never felt like enough time. She was missing her at that very moment, and she had only just left her. Gail had never felt this way before, and letting herself go was still a frightening situation to be in. She focused on how deliriously happy she was and tried to live in the present moment. The present moment required her attention on the large heap of dirty clothes that needed cleaning.

* * *

Gail woke up the next morning in Holly's bed again. It was still early, and only faint hints of the sunrise were peaking in through the window. Gail reached out sleepily and this time found Holly's warm body next to her.

Last night had been lovely, having a quiet night in with Holly and cooking dinner together. Though she had made a face at the suggestion, the turkey burgers they had made were delicious. Gail had chopped the onions and eaten the cheese faster than Holly could cut it for the burgers. Holly had ordered her away to set the table so she could finish the meal in peace. Their night had been simple. It was romantic for its very simplicity.

Holly had stunned her slightly when she had told her it was her birthday in a couple of days. Gail had felt badly for not knowing, but Holly had assured her she didn't mention it because she didn't want Gail to feel any pressure about finding her a gift, not to mention everything else that had been going on. She had, however, asked Gail if she would come out and meet her friends, who she was having dinner with at a restaurant not far from work the very next night. Gail had fluttered between nervousness at the sudden prospect of meeting Holly's friends and pleasure that Holly wanted her to meet them. Gail had replied that of course she would come, with what she thought was commendable confidence.

Gail turned over so she could look at Holly. She didn't think that anything had ever looked more beautiful than Holly's sleeping form. As she gazed down at Holly, Gail was flooded with emotion. She felt a physical ache in her heart, and it suddenly dawned on Gail that she was very much in love. She wondered if it was possible to love someone so much it broke your heart.

Gail ran through her relationship with Holly. She thought about their friendship, which had always had other feelings idling under the surface, to the point when they had finally become lovers. She realized, with perfect clarity, that she had loved Holly since the first time she had seen her, and that she had been marching towards this inevitable realization all along.

Gail felt the worst part of herself, that part that didn't think she deserved to be loved or to be happy, spring into action. She felt sudden panic and doubt. _Don't you dare Peck._ Gail clamped down on her weak inner voice. She wasn't going to run again, not this time.

* * *

Holly had awoken to find Gail hovering over her, but staring off into space, unaware that Holly was no longer sleeping. She watched quietly as a myriad of emotions swept over Gail's face. Holly wondered if she had had another nightmare, though she hadn't had any since their first night together. Holly saw alarm in Gail's eyes, along with uncertainty. She saw something else flash in her eyes, though she had never seen that look on Gail's face before and wasn't sure what to make of it.

Then Gail had looked down at her and seen that she was awake. Gail had reached over, ran her fingers into her hair and caressed her cheek with her thumb, a very serious expression on her face. Holly had asked her if she was alright, and Gail had assured her that she was. Holly had wanted to insist that Gail tell her what she was feeling. She wished for the thousandth time that she could read Gail's mind. But she had decided to trust that Gail would tell her what she was feeling when she was ready to do so.

Gail had not lingered that morning like she normally did. She had quickly gotten ready for work, explaining that her tardiness had been noted by Frank, and she couldn't be late for parade that morning. Holly reminded herself that Gail was trying very hard to be more emotionally open with her. She reminded herself to be patient.

Gail had left in such a rush that she had forgotten her phone. And now Holly had to return it to her at the station. _She really does need her phone. This isn't even a lame excuse to see Gail_, Holly assured herself as she walked into the building.

The station buzzed with its usual activity, as officers, support staff, and the public went about their business. Holly scanned the main room, scattered with officer's desks, and was about to give up and just leave Gail's phone, when she spotted her blonde head. She was chatting with her brother and Chris, and Holly felt a serious case of déjà vu.

Gail noticed her as she approached, and Holly was relieved to see both surprise and happiness on Gail's face. Gail stood up from the desk she had perched on and walked towards her. Steve and Chris followed her trajectory and waved hello when they saw Holly. Holly returned the greeting, warmly.

"Hey, whatcha doing here?" Gail asked. "Are you ok?" Gail's face had become concerned.

"Officer Peck, you forgot your phone," Holly replied, holding it up to Gail and smiling.

Gail slapped her forehead. "I didn't even realize. Thank you so much for bringing it in for me, Doctor Stewart," Gail laughed, enjoying the obviously tongue-in-cheek display of professionalism. "That would have been a minor disaster."

"No problem. You left in a bit of a rush…" Holly prodded, dropping the game.

"Yeah, listen parade is about to start," Gail said, quickly. "But I will see you tonight. I'm really looking forward to it."

Holly warmed at the silly smile Gail flashed at her. Gail had to be nervous about meeting her friends, but she was obviously trying to be cheery about it. Maybe that was all she had seen this morning. "Me too. Be safe and have a good day."

Holly turned around to leave, when she felt a sudden smack upon her ass that stopped her in her tracks. Holly's eyes widened in incredulity, as she turned to look back at Gail. Gail's face was beat red, and she looked as surprised as Holly felt. Gail mouthed the word 'sorry' at her. Holly couldn't help it - she burst out laughing. She noted with further amusement, that both Steve and Chris had also seen what Gail had done, recovered from their initial surprise, and were now laughing their asses off behind Gail's back.

Gail gave a sheepish smile, shrugged, spun around and hustled away.

* * *

Gail had no idea what had possessed her to smack Holly's ass in the middle of a busy police station. _Nice one, Gail._ She had just acted on instinct, without thinking. Luckily Holly had seemed amused. Chris and Steve also seemed very amused.

"Very professional, Officer Peck," Steve laughed. This made Chris laugh harder.

"Shut up," Gail mumbled. She punched both of them and stalked towards the parade room.

It had been a boring day; she and Dov had been assigned to monitor the activity of a house on Front Street. Gail hated these kinds of assignments, stuck in the squad car with nothing to do. Gail had endured Dov's teasing throughout their shift together. But she had also been preoccupied with her feelings for Holly. Things were happening so fast now, Gail's mind couldn't keep up with her feelings. Holly hadn't indicated that she felt the same way, and Gail wouldn't blame her if she wasn't there yet. She just hoped she would get there. Gail couldn't think of anything better than to be loved by someone like Holly. She wondered if she could possibly deserve it. Gail pushed the thought down. She would just have to earn it. Gail made the decision to be brave and let herself love. She would keep her feelings to herself for now though and wait for Holly to feel the same way.

Right on cue, Dov threw a serious hitch into her 'earning it' plan, when he got off his phone.

"Listen Gail, don't shoot the messenger…"

"What is it Dov?" Gail asked, annoyed.

"Frank says there is nobody available to take-over for us right now. We're going to have to stay late."

"You have got to be kidding me. Holly has a birthday thing tonight, and I told her I would go and meet all her friends."

"Yikes. Yeah, you're screwed. Take it from an expert on dating women, you're really going to have to make it up to her."

Gail rolled her eyes at the idea of Dov being an expert on women, but he had a point. Gail knew that tonight was important to Holly, and her own behavior this morning had not been ideal. The last thing she wanted was for Holly to think she was trying to get out of meeting her friends.

With a sigh, Gail pulled out her phone and called Holly.

"Hey, I was just thinking about you." Gail still felt a thrill every time Holly answered her phone.

Dov was making kissy faces at her, and Gail punched him in the arm.

"Hey, listen Holly, I have some bad news…"

* * *

Holly's heart sank. Gail was cancelling on her.

"OK…"

"Frank says Dov and I have to work late on this stakeout. I'm so sorry. I really wanted to come and meet your friends tonight."

Holly swallowed her disappointment. "It's ok. I understand. You have to work late - comes with the job."

"Can I come over later? I promise, I'll make it up to you."

This went some way in assuaging Holly's worry that Gail was getting cold feet again. "Yeah, of course. I'll see you later then."

"Holly, I really am sorry."

"Don't worry, Gail. You can meet my friends another time."

"Yes, absolutely. Have fun, and I'll see you later."

"Bye."

Holly sighed with disappointment. It wasn't about her birthday; she would rather celebrate someone else's than her own, and she never made a big deal about it. But she wanted to bring Gail into her life, have her meet her friends, and show her off.

Gail was acting strangely, and something had obviously happened that morning. But it didn't feel like Gail was running either. Holly wondered again what was going on in that complicated head.

* * *

Gail had been trying to think of how to make it up to Holly for hours. She wanted to do something really special, not just because she felt guilty, but because it was Holly's birthday, and she loved her.

Then Gail got a brilliant idea. A terrible, brilliant idea. Gail let out a loud groan, startling Dov. _Is this the sort of crap you do when you're in love?_

"Dov, I need to stop on Yonge Street on the way back to the station."

"Where on Yonge?"

"Er, you know the dodgy bit with all the sex shops?"

"Oh my god, Gail! Are you buying Holly a sex toy?"

"No, Dov!" Gail punched him again. Her hand was really starting to get sore. "Do you think I would buy a sex toy when you were with me?"

"Well, I would buy a sex toy if you were with me…"

"That's because you're an idiot. I want to go to the costume shop."

"Ohhhh kinky!"

Gail punched him again for, what felt like, the hundredth time that day.

Dov had insisted on coming into the store with her. Though the store had late hours, it was about to close, so Gail just allowed him to tag-along, avoiding the delay of bickering with him out in the squad. Gail wandered the aisles, trying to find what she was looking for in the labyrinthine, haphazard displays. Gail had finally given up and asked the storeowner for help.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Peck," Dov hooted with laughter, when he heard her inquiry.

He dodged away before she could connect with another punch.

He came back wearing a long, black wig. "Oh Gail, I want to blind you with science. I may work with the dead, but you make me feel so alive. Kiss-"

Gail connected with a hard kick. "I will shoot you."

Gail had received a text from Holly at the station, letting her know that dinner was over, and she was heading back home. After she had finished sorting through her paperwork and changed back into street clothes, Gail headed out for Holly's. She had done her hair in her car mirror and had donned her costume. In the brief walk up to Holly's apartment, she had got some strange looks, but Gail had just glared back and no one had dared to comment. Gail knew she had to be in love – she felt ridiculous.

* * *

Holly had unlocked the door when Gail had buzzed up, but she had still knocked. Holly yelled for her to come in, but Gail still hadn't opened the door. Holly grabbed the two glasses of wine she had just poured in one hand and went to go open the door.

There stood Gail Peck in full Princess Leia costume.

Holly's mouth dropped open, and she heard herself gasp. She stood dumb-founded, as she took in the blonde buns on either side of Gail's head and the long, white, flowing gown she wore, tapered at the waist by a silver belt. She realized that she was spilling wine on the floor and quickly adjusted.

"Oh…my…god," Holly said, in a strangled voice.

Gail had a very satisfied smirk on her face. "I'm here to boldly go where no man has gone before."

Holly laughed, finally getting some of her brain function back. "Ok, while funny, that is actually Star Trek."

Gail rolled her eyes. "Beam me up, Holly."

Holly grabbed onto Gail and pulled her inside. "Shhhhh. Please be quiet."

* * *

Gail and Holly lay in a tangled heap on the bed. Gail stared longingly at Holly, biting down on the urge to tell her she loved her. She was thinking it so hard, she wondered how Holly didn't hear her thoughts.

"My eight-year-old self thanks you for the costume," Holly said, causing Gail to laugh. "My adult self thanks you for everything afterwards."

"Mmmm, no problem."

"No really, Gail, you're amazing. I can't believe you did this."

Gail ducked her head down, a little embarrassed, but thrilled that she had made Holly so happy with a silly gesture. She looked over at the bedside clock. It was 12:10am.

"Hey, Hol, happy birthday." _I love you_, Gail finished in her head.

* * *

Holly looked over at the clock. It was indeed her birthday now. She turned back to Gail, who was looking at her so intensely, that it gave her shivers.

Gail's blonde buns had come loose, and were hanging haphazardly off her head. Holly smiled at the juxtaposition between Gail's ridiculous hair and the very serious look she was giving her.

Holly felt a tangible ache in her heart and knew that she was in love. She was not surprised. She had known when she had first met Gail that she could fall in love with her. She was only surprised to find herself acknowledging that she had been in love with Gail since that very first day. Holly was a scientist - she should scoff at the idea of love at first sight. But here she found herself, with experiential proof that it was possible.

"Things got a little weird with the bun-holding, huh?" Gail said, interrupting her thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Holly laughed. "I may have got a little carried away."

Holly reached over and let the rest of Gail's hair down. She gently pulled out the tangles with her fingers, as Gail silently watched her.

Holly decided to keep her feelings to herself. Everything was happening so fast, and if Holly was scared by the depth of her own emotion, then Gail must be as well. She didn't want to rush her. Gail had already been acting strangely since that morning, and Holly didn't want to put any sort of pressure on her.

Holly could love Gail quietly and let it warm her from the inside. Gail was worth the wait.


	7. Days Like Today

**Thanks again for the reviews. Always nice to know you aren't writing in a vacuum. From the feedback I've received, I'll put the one-shots on the backburner for now. Just been tossing around ideas in my head about a series of short scenes flashing further into the future of Gail and Holly's relationship.**

**Let me know what you think about the chapter. Happy Reading.**

* * *

**Exciting side note: I was jogging around Toronto the other day and I was wondering why the hell a police car was cruising really slowly next to me. So I looked around and there was a van tricked out with a bunch of cameras and a second squad car, as well. I wasn't wearing my spectacles, so I couldn't see any specifics though, plus I was running faster than the car was driving. A lot of stuff films in Toronto, but I'm going to assume it was Rookie Blue filming, since they were Toronto PD cars.**

* * *

**Chapter 7 Days like today **

Gail woke up early the next morning so she could make Holly a birthday breakfast, served in bed. She was halfway through burning her way through breakfast, when Holly popped her head around the corner.

"Hey babe, what are you doing?" Holly asked, amused. "I heard yelling and swearing…"

"I'm making you breakfast in bed, as a birthday surprise," Gail replied, tensely. "So go back to bed and pretend to be surprised when I come in. I've got everything under control."

Holly arched her eyebrows, but went back to the bedroom. "Please don't burn down my kitchen."

"This fucking thing isn't working properly," Gail grumbled to herself.

* * *

Holly climbed back under the covers and listened to the sounds of Gail trying to cook breakfast. While adorable, she worried about the state of her kitchen. Right on cue, the smoke detector went off, and Holly heard Gail emit a string of blush-worthy curses. Holly stuck her head under the covers and willed herself not to go sneak a peak at what was happening.

After a moment, the smoke detector stopped its screeching and the curses and banging of kitchenware lessened. Holly gamely composed herself into a reasonable facsimile of sleep. The bedroom door quietly opened, and Holly felt the mattress shift. Gail's lips brushed against hers.

"You know, it would be more convincing that you were actually asleep, if you weren't smiling," Gail laughed.

"I was dreaming about you," Holly replied, with a wink

"Mmhhm. Breakfast is served," Gail said, with a flourish towards a tray of food.

"Wow, Gail, you shouldn't have."

Holly looked over the tray, as Gail scooted into bed next to her. There were fresh strawberries, scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and what Holly was guessing were pancakes, though it was a bit hard to tell. There was also coffee and orange juice.

"Technically the eggs were supposed to be an omelet, but I had to abandon that ambitious plan halfway through. The pancakes are a little crispy…"

"It looks delicious. This is so sweet, thank you." Holly leaned over and planted a kiss on Gail's mouth.

Holly went for the pancakes first, out of sheer love for Gail. Gail watched her with big puppy dog eyes. The pancakes were awful - somehow burnt on the outside, but liquidy on the inside. Holly found the will to swallow and smile.

"How are they?" Gail asked, with such hopefulness.

"Mmmm, mmhmmm," Holly nodded. "Really good."

Gail looked at her doubtfully before putting a forkful into her own mouth. She quickly spat them out into a napkin.

"Oh my god," Gail laughed. "Those are truly horrible. I don't even know how they could be that terrible."

"Yeah, I'm impressed you managed to make something so delicious, taste so horrendous," Holly laughed. "I don't even know what they taste like." She put another forkful into her mouth, immediately regretting it.

"No, stop!" Gail was really laughing now. "I don't want to have to call 9-1-1. Just eat around the pancakes. Everything else should be edible."

Gail handed Holly some orange juice, so she could rinse the taste from her mouth.

The eggs were runny and the mushrooms that were mixed in were undercooked. Luckily, Holly liked her toast and bacon well-done, but she stuck mostly to the coffee and strawberries.

"This is my new favourite breakfast," Holly announced, after they were finished eating. "You should probably only make it on special occasions though."

Holly meant it too. She would eat any number of inedible pancakes if it meant she could eat them in bed with the woman she loved. _What a mushy sap I have turned into._ She wasn't sure her kitchen could survive a regular Gail cooked breakfast though.

"I only have to be in court for a few hours today," Gail said, excitedly. "So I'll be done work earlier than you for once. So what do you want to do on your birthday? We can do whatever you want."

"Honestly, I would like to get some take-out and watch the Star Wars trilogy. No girlfriend of mine can not know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek."

Holly kicked herself as soon as the words were out of her mouth. They hadn't actually had the 'girlfriend' talk yet. She looked nervously at Gail.

Gail swallowed the nerd joke that was about to come out of her mouth at the mention of Star Wars. Holly had just referred to her as her girlfriend. "Am I your girlfriend?" Gail asked, quietly.

"If you want to be," Holly said, simply.

"Yes, of course I do," Gail said, beaming.

Holly beamed back. She had worried that Gail would balk at the label. _Apparently I'm not giving Gail enough credit._

"OK, Star Wars. Anything else?" Gail asked.

Holly arched her eyebrows at Gail in the most suggestive way possible.

"Now?" Gail asked, looking at the clock. "I have to get ready for court…like right now. And I still have to clean up breakfast."

"I can clean up breakfast," Holly said.

"This is going to have to be really fast…"

"I can be fast."

Holly laughed as Gail shoved the breakfast tray aside and tackled her to the bed.

* * *

"Shit, shit, shit," Gail said, from behind the wheel of her car. She was running very behind for court. She was also looking rather disheveled, as she tried to sort herself out in the rearview mirror. _Worth it_, Gail thought to herself, with a smile. _So worth it._

"Hey asshole, where did you learn to drive?" Gail shouted at the car in front of her, laying on the horn.

She lucked out with parking, once she got to the courthouse, but she still sprinted the rest of the way. As she pulled open the courthouse doors, she noticed that her shirt wasn't buttoned correctly and quickly re-did the buttons. Holly had buttoned her shirt for her in an attempt to help her get ready faster. It had been slower and apparently not done correctly either. She made a mental note to question the doctor's ability to perform simple tasks later that night.

As she entered the courtroom, Gail dropped the flustered grin from her face and put on her professional court face.

* * *

Holly spent the day in giddy anticipation of her birthday evening with Gail. She thought the last time she had been so excited for a birthday was probably when she was a little girl.

Holly wanted nothing more than to spend her birthday with her girlfriend. She had never watched Star Wars with someone who had never seen it before, and Holly was so excited to share the experience with Gail. She maybe wouldn't let on to Gail just how special it would be for her though.

Holly congratulated herself on her speedy efficiency. Holly's coworkers had insisted on taking her out for a birthday lunch, though she may have preferred to stay in and get ahead on her labs. She was still making excellent time though. Just then, her phone buzzed.

**Gail: Hey, I'm just heading to a late lunch with Traci. I'm going to stop by my place for a bit, and I have to run some errands, but then I am all free. So excited to see you. Any chance you get out of work early?**

**Holly: I am a paperwork machine! I'll be out early, so just text me when you are on your way over. **

**Holly: I wasn't going to tell you how excited I am for tonight, since you already think I am the Queen of the Nerds, but…**

**Gail: You're my nerd.**

**Gail: I'll be on my best behavior tonight. So feel free to get your geek on. You are the birthday girl.**

Holly resisted the urge to text 'I love you' in bold, capitalized letters.

* * *

"You know you've used the word 'girlfriend' twenty times during our lunch, right?" Traci laughed. "I've met Holly. You can use her name."

"Have I?" Gail asked, blushing. "I guess I just like saying it."

"I like this sweet, adorable, Gail."

Gail glared, but couldn't help smiling. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You seem happy."

"I am."

"You must really like her."

Gail looked down at her hands, blushing. "Trac, I am so in love."

Traci's eyes widened, and she clapped her hands together, pleased. "Have you told Holly that yet?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Too scary."

"Why?"

"Because what if she doesn't feel the same way?"

"You'll never know…"

"I am so far gone. And it is scaring the shit out of me. I'll wait. I can wait."

"Mmmhmm."

"How about lets talk about how you're dating my doofus big brother?!"

* * *

Gail had shown up at Holly's, arms full and well stocked, for a birthday evening in. She had brought a nice bottle of wine – "I usually drink the cheap stuff, so I hope this is good. It's got a cork and everything" - and a bouquet of flowers, which Holly placed in water. She also brought a brown paper bag of take-out from Thai Basil that looked like it could feed them both for a week and a plastic bag filled with an assortment of different snacks – Twizzlers, Swedish Berries, Smarties, Skittles and a bag of mini-chocolate bars.

Holly had laughed at the assortment, to which Gail had replied, "I didn't know which was your favourite, so I just got you everything."

"I was going to make us popcorn, but I guess that won't be necessary," Holly suggested.

"Why wouldn't you make popcorn?" Gail asked, genuinely confused.

"Silly me," Holly laughed.

"I also realized, we've never been out to the movies together, so I think we should do that soon."

"I'd like that," Holly smiled, uncorking the wine, while Gail covered her coffee table in Thai dishes and bowls of candy.

Holly brought over the wine and a couple of plates and curled up on the couch next to Gail.

Holly still got genuine chills when the familiar music started to play, and the yellow font began to crawl up the screen. She looked over at Gail, who was happily heaping Pad Thai into her mouth. _So this is what contentment feels like._

"Oh hey, I have that outfit!" Gail said enthusiastically, as Princess Leia made her first appearance.

Holly rolled her eyes, laughing.

* * *

As it turned out, Gail was actually really enjoying the films, even 4 hours in. She wondered if it had more to do with the company than the actual movies. Gail would periodically glance over at Holly to see her endearingly mouthing along to the dialogue. She also seemed to have an endless supply of fun facts, anecdotal information, and trivia that she shared with Gail as they watched. Gail had had a number of questions and points she wanted clarification on, which Holly seemed to find very amusing for some reason.

Gail was proud of herself for having successfully avoided any teasing of Holly's unbridled enthusiasm. Every time Holly said something adorably dorky, she would just lean over and kiss her. It was an excellent strategy.

* * *

The combination of Thai food, candy, and wine had left Holly feeling rather ill by the time they had started to watch The Empire Strikes Back. She had rested her head on Gail's lap for an hour, as she let her body digest, and Gail gently played with her hair.

Gail had asked a series of adorably dumb questions about the movies throughout their viewing, which Holly had found endlessly amusing. She had also been leaning over and kissing her a lot.

Holly had rallied from her food coma by the time The Return of the Jedi had started, and Gail was now leaning against her chest, head tucked under her chin. Holly wrapped her arms tightly around her and kissed the top of her head.

As the end credits rolled, Holly titled Gail's chin towards her, so she could look at her face. "So what did you think?" Holly asked.

"I really enjoyed them," Gail said, enthusiastically.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. I think I could get into this nerd thing. Just don't tell anyone."

"Deal. I'll think of another movie marathon we can have."

"What's the one with the alien?"

"Um…Alien?"

"Yeah, that one. They did a few of those, right? Maybe we can watch them next."

"You haven't seen them?" Holly shouldn't have been surprised, but she was still a little appalled.

"Nope."

"I guess your education has really only begun, Gail," Holly said, eyes gleaming.

* * *

Gail felt a thrill at the double meaning in Holly's words, whether it was intended or not. She was certainly learning a lot lately.

"I look forward to it," Gail managed to say.

She reached up and placed her hand on the back of Holly's head, pulling her in for a deep kiss. "It's 11:48, any last minute birthday requests?"

Holly had been hoping for the question. She had had something in mind all day. "Take a bath with me?" Holly asked, placing a kiss on Gail's neck.

Gail sat up. "A midnight bath? That is an odd request that I am 100% enthusiastic about. This is why I – "

Gail had been about to say 'This is why I love you', but caught herself before the words tumbled out. " – enjoy spending time with you," Gail finished, lamely.

"Give me five minutes to get the bath ready, then take your clothes off and bring what's left of the wine," Holly directed.

Gail managed to wait two minutes before she grabbed the wine bottle and started to yank her clothes off.

* * *

Holly was lighting candles when she heard Gail come into the bathroom. The tub was still filling with bubbly water.

"That wasn't five minutes," Holly said, turning around. Holly was satisfied to find that Gail had followed her other instructions, however. Gail stood there, clutching the bottle of wine, hair tied back, and wearing not a stitch of clothing.

Gail grabbed Holly by the belt, pulling her in, and kissed her slowly. She reached around Holly, and put the wine bottle down on the edge of the tub. With both hands free, she began to leisurely pull Holly's clothing off.

She pulled Holly's t-shirt over her head, taking the time to kiss her cleavage, neck and mouth, while the cotton teasingly covered Holly's eyes. She ran her hands along Holly's sides before undoing her belt and pants with agonizing slowness. Holly's breath hitched when Gail firmly placed her hand between Holly's legs, before pulling her pants off. She tucked her hand into Holly's underwear, cupping her ass and pulling Holly in closer so she could kiss her deeply. Gail pulled her underwear down and unclasped her bra. Holly let it fall to the floor, as Gail took her nipple gently between her teeth.

Holly had forgotten all about the running water, when Gail reached behind her and turned off the tap. "It's ready," Gail said, throatily.

Holly took an unsteady breath, taking an elastic band from her wrist, and tying her hair back into a loose bun. Gail placed her hand softly on Holly's hip, as she stepped into the tub and lowered herself into the hot water.

Gail grabbed the bottle of wine and placed herself between Holly's legs, leaning her back against Holly's body. With a sigh of contentment, she took a sip from the bottle and passed it back to Holly. They sat like that for a moment, sipping from the bottle, and reveling in the hot water and the solidity of their bodies pressed against each other.

Holly took the empty bottle from Gail's hand and placed it on the side of the tub. She tucked Gail's hair behind her ear and nipped at her earlobe. She ran her wet hands along Gail's breasts, before slipping her hands under the water.

Holly's hands ran along her stomach and thighs before finding the space between her legs. Gail pushed herself back into Holly's body, as she slowly stroked between her legs. Her breath became ragged, as Holly moved her hand with escalating firmness. Gail leaned her head back so she could turn and leave desperate kisses on Holly's mouth. Gail threw her arm behind herself and around Holly's neck, clinging on as an unbearable orgasm rippled through her body.

Holly felt the small tremors undulate through the body pressed hard against her. She placed a gentle kiss on Gail's ear and waited. Gail turned over, raising herself up slightly. Her wet breasts pressed against Holly's chest.

Gail pushed her tongue into her mouth, as she pushed her fingers into Holly. Holly moaned loudly, urging Gail on. Gail continued to thrust, as she lowered herself down onto Holly, kissing her shoulders and neck. Holly found purchase with one foot against the tub, as Gail grabbed firmly under her other leg with her free hand, Holly's body allowing her in deeper. Holly dug her fingers into Gail's shoulder blade as she felt her body release in an ecstasy of sensation.

When Holly's moans had quieted to a steady breath, Gail moved to the other end of the bathtub, intertwining her legs with Holly's under the water. She let her head loll against the edge of the tub, as she quietly watched Holly. The other woman's eyes were closed, and she looked relaxed and content, as she soaked in the warm water. Gail wondered what she was thinking, but didn't ask. Instead, she savored the opportunity to wordlessly ponder the beautiful woman across from her and all the wonders that she had brought to her life.

They stayed like that for a while, until the water became lukewarm, and Gail forced herself to stand.

"Come to bed with me," Gail said, as she held out her hands to help Holly from the tub.

"Mmmm, but if I go to sleep, then this day will be over, and I don't want that," Holly replied, sleepily.

"We'll have more days like today," Gail said.

Gail had said it casually, but Holly felt inexplicable happiness at the words. She stood silently as Gail gently ran a towel along her wet skin. Holly's heart broke a little at the tenderness that Gail displayed in that moment, realizing how lucky she was to see this side of her.

As they got into bed, Holly thought about what Gail had just said. She wanted to always have days like today. She wanted to have all her days with Gail, no matter what they did with their time. For the first time, Holly was scared about what another human could do to her life.

_Gail Peck – Destroyer of Worlds_, Holly thought sardonically.

Gail snuggled into her side, and Holly wrapped her arms around her body. "Thank you for this perfect birthday," she whispered in the darkness.

"You're welcome."


	8. Reborn

**Unrelated fandom side note: So the following anecdote has nothing to do with Rookie Blue, but I thought it would be appreciated here anyways. I went to get my hair cut this week and had the following conversation:**

**Hairdresser: I've been trying to think who you remind me of, and I just figured it out. Have you ever seen Lost Girl?**

**Me: Yes…**

**H: Do you know who Zoie Palmer is?**

**Me: uh, yes…**

**H: You look like her.**

**Me: False. But thank you for that.**

**H: Similar personality too. She comes here to get her hair done. And I do her partner's hair too.**

**So yeah, apparently I share a hairdresser with Zoie Palmer. NBD.**

* * *

**Okay, so I went there. I wrote about 'the haircut'. Gail's that is. **

**I also feel like I just wrote an ending, which I didn't realize I was doing until I wrote it. I have further chapters in my head though. So that was unexpected. Holy conflicted feelings, Batman.**

**Let me know what you think. Happy reading.**

* * *

**Chapter 8 Reborn**

Holly lay in bed, unable to sleep. It was getting harder and harder not to tell Gail exactly how she felt about her. It was so unlike Holly not to be forthright, bold even. But she had her reasons or so she tried to tell herself.

At the bottom of it though, Holly was afraid of losing Gail. Whenever she felt the overwhelming desire to tell Gail how much she was in love with her, she remembered what Gail had told her. Gail was an admitted runner, a serial self-destructor.

Gail had to say it first.

Holly thought about how awful she had felt when Gail had distanced herself after their first night together. She had come back again, apologetic and with reassurance that it wouldn't happen again. The difference now was that Holly was beyond being capable of just being friends with Gail. She couldn't go back to that – she felt too much, too deeply. These thoughts remained in the back of Holly's head, a small blight on what were otherwise the happiest days Holly had ever had.

It was in the quiet moments at home when it was the hardest to clamp down on the urge to tell everything that was in her heart. So they had started going out more. Holly supposed that it was a good thing they were getting out and doing things together, instead of just staying in alone, usually in bed. They had gone to the movies. They had spent an afternoon walking around Little Portugal, going into interesting little bookstores and record shops. And Holly had enjoyed every moment.

Gail had also seemed more at ease when they had gone out. Holly still noted a change in Gail, the same one she had noticed right before her birthday. Holly could see it in Gail's face. It was present in the way that Gail interacted with her. Holly would catch her staring intensely, but Gail would avert her eyes whenever she caught her. Gail was acting twitchy, and it added to Holly's apprehension.

Holly wondered when relationships had become so complicated. _Oh right, when I met Gail Peck._

* * *

Gail rolled over, frustrated that she couldn't fall asleep. She was falling more in love with Holly every day. She wondered if the depth of her feelings for Holly had a bottom, hoped that they did, but suspected they did not. Gail was slow with emotional processing to begin with – now she needed to catch her breath, but couldn't.

Gail fought the urge to self-destruct. Holly was being so patient and kind, but this only made Gail feel less deserving. Gail knew how to keep people at a distance. She was sarcastic. She could be cold. If she suspected she was going to get hurt or she wanted a way out, she didn't just end a relationship - she hit the destruct button.

Gail was terrified of being hurt by Holly. What had she done to deserve this beautiful, kind, clever woman? Gail wasn't going to self-destruct this time, but she couldn't find the courage to risk her heart and tell Holly exactly how she felt either. She needed to know that Holly felt it too before she could risk it.

They had been going out a lot more recently, and it took some of the pressure off of Gail. She sensed that something was different with Holly though. Gail had noticed a certain twitchiness with Holly. Maybe it was a police officer's intuition or just Gail's paranoia, but something felt different.

Gail was a fighter - that's the way Peck's were bred. If she got knocked down by love this time though, Gail wasn't sure she could recover.

Holly had to say it first.

Gail quietly slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Holly. She pulled on Holly's flannel shirt, which she had appropriated as her own now. It was warm, and it smelled like Holly. That shirt felt like home.

Gail silently padded out into the living room and stood staring out at the city lights. As a police officer, she had had many sleepless nights. She had looked out over Toronto, as it slept, countless times. She had, however, never been unable to sleep because she was too happy. _That's a really healthy reaction, Gail._

"Hey, can't sleep?" Holly's voice sounded behind her.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" Gail asked, as Holly wrapped her arms around her waist and rested her chin on her shoulder.

"No. I was having trouble sleeping too. You ok?" Holly placed a gentle kiss on the side of Gail's neck.

"Just restless. How come you can't sleep?"

"Same. Restless."

They stood there for a moment, looking out at the lights, wrapped around each other.

"You know I have this old trick I've been using since med school for when I can't sleep?" Holly said, breaking the silence.

"Oh yeah?"

"Medically proven to cure insomnia."

"Valuable to a police officer doing shiftwork. Please share."

"You know Gray's Anatomy…"

"The TV show?" This was not what Gail was expecting.

Holly chuckled deeply behind her. "Go get back in bed, and I'll show you."

* * *

Gail looked at her skeptically, but padded back to the bedroom. Holly went over to one of her bookshelves and pulled down a thick, well-worn textbook. She followed Gail back into the bedroom.

"Gray's Anatomy with an A, instead of an E," Holly said, as she crawled into bed next to Gail, turning on her bedside lamp.

"Oh. Now I feel sort of dumb," Gail mumbled.

"Don't be silly. When I was a kid I used to find any book on the human body fascinating, including this one. But when I got to med school and began to study properly, I realized how incredibly dry this textbook is. Without fail, I used to fall asleep trying to study it. I still pull it out whenever I can't sleep. Never fails."

Holly smiled at the unconvinced look on Gail's face. "Trust me."

"Okay, Dr. Stewart. Try it out on your most difficult patient." Gail went to the usual crook in Holly's shoulder, resting her head, and draped her arm and leg over Holly's body.

Holly turned to a particularly boring section on cartilage and began to read.

Gail loved to listen to the soft timbre of Holly's voice. She ignored the boring medical jargon and the complicated Latin words and focused on the cadence of Holly's reading. She felt herself relaxing, soothed by the sound of Holly's voice.

Holly felt Gail's breathing slow as she began to fall asleep. Holly read for a while longer, until her own eyes began to droop. She looked down at Gail, fast asleep. Holly silently closed the book and set it aside. She gently kissed Gail on the top of her head.

"I love you, Gail," Holly whispered to her sleeping form.

Holly turned off the light and fell asleep.

* * *

Gail and Chris had been called to the scene of a particularly bad accident that afternoon. A small sedan had been struck by a semi, killing the man driving the car instantly. The truck driver, as well as the other passenger in the car, the driver's wife, did not have critical injuries. Gail had been left to console the poor woman, who was utterly bereft.

Once those involved had been put into ambulances and the scene was secured, Gail and Chris had been sent to get statements at the hospital from the two survivors involved in the accident.

Gail truly hated this part of her job. She had to extract information about the accident from a woman who was grief-stricken about her husband. Gail took a deep breath and pushed open the door to the hospital room. The woman sat on the hospital bed, looking very small.

"Mrs. Spencer, do you need me to call anyone for you?" Gail asked.

"No, our children are on their way. My youngest is in Ottawa studying at Carleton University. The oldest is a graphic designer in Montreal. My daughter is on her way now though. She lives in Scarborough," said the woman, dazed.

"I'm very sorry about your loss, but I need to get a statement from you about the accident," Gail said, softly.

"We were married for thirty years," the woman went on, as though Gail hadn't spoken. Gail just let her talk. "We met in school, got married very young, but I never doubted we would always be together. I knew. He's the only man I've ever loved. Now I don't know what I'm supposed to do." The woman put her face in her hands and wept silently.

Gail put her arm around the woman. "Why don't you tell me about him?"

* * *

Gail had sat with the woman until her daughter had arrived at the hospital. She had told Gail stories about her life with her husband. Gail had waited to get the statement from her until the end.

Gail felt like she had been kicked in the gut. As she sat in that hospital room, she couldn't help but think of Holly. Gail had only known Holly for a relatively brief time, certainly not thirty years, but she already couldn't fathom such a loss.

As a police officer, Gail shouldn't have needed to be reminded about how precious every moment is. How easily it can be taken away. _Guess I'm a slow learner._

Gail had been practically bursting with the need to tell Holly that she loved her, but she had kept it to herself. She felt foolish now. Love had been making her feel foolish a lot lately. She had finally had enough of holding back, and she wasn't going to do it anymore. This was the last time she was going to need to learn this lesson.

If she was going to get her heart stomped on, she was at least going to have the courage to really say how she felt first. Gail felt strangely calm.

She had plans to go out for dinner with Holly later that night, but Gail didn't want to wait. She pulled out her phone.

**Gail: Hol, can I just come see you at your place when I get off shift.**

**Holly: Of course. Are you ok?**

**Gail: Tough day. Need to talk to you.**

**Holly: I'm here for you.**

**Gail: I know you are. **

**Gail: Thank you for that.**

Gail waited anxiously for her shift to finish.

* * *

Gail was on her way up to her apartment, and Holly was concerned. Gail was usually so stoical about her work, so if Gail had admitted to having a bad day, it must have been a really tough one. Holly admitted to herself that she was also a little apprehensive about Gail's request to postpone their dinner so they could talk, and it made Holly feel selfish. She wanted to support Gail, and didn't feel like she should be worrying about her own neurosis right now.

Holly was flipping through a medical journal when Gail let herself in. She looked tired and nervous and oddly excited. Holly was really confused now.

Holly stood and walked straight over to Gail, pulling her into a hug. Gail hung on fiercely, burying her head in Holly's neck. She could feel Gail trembling slightly. Holly gently pulled Gail away from her so she could look into her eyes.

"Tell me what happened today?" Holly said, softly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong," she said, quickly. "I mean, I had a tough day, but that's not what I want to talk to you about. I got a harsh reminder today…"

Holly took Gail's hand and waited for her to explain the emotions that flitted across her face.

Gail took a steadying breath. "I am so lucky to be with you, and I would have to be a complete fool to squander a single second of that. You scare me so much because I can't imagine losing you. And despite myself, I have fallen completely in love with you."

"You're in love with me?" Holly felt tears well in her eyes.

"I've been in love with you since you walked onto my crime scene. It just took me some time to figure it out. I'm so bad at this. And then when I figured it out, I was too afraid to tell you…"

"Me too." Holly's voice wavered with emotion, and Gail hadn't seemed to hear her, as she barreled on.

"I'm laying all my cards out here, and then you can decide if you want to be with me. I may be an emotional dimwit, but I know what I want with you. I want it all. Marriage. Babies. I can't change who I am, but all the bullshit that makes me put up defenses…I don't need that with you. I can prove to you that I deserve your love. So there it is. I love you, Holly."

Holly put her mouth over Gail's to slow her down and focus her.

"Did you hear me? I love you too, Gail."

"You do?"

"Of course I do. From the moment you called me 'lunchbox'. I was afraid because I want all of those things with you too. This is new territory for me too. It's a good thing one of us decided to be brave. And for the record, I've never wanted you to change."

"You love me?"

Holly laughed through the tears. "Yes, I love you! How many times do I have to say it?"

"Please keep saying it."

Holly wrapped her arms around Gail's waist. "I love you."

She kissed Gail deeply on the mouth. "I love you."

She took Gail by the hand and pulled her towards the bedroom. " I love you."

They pulled each other's clothes off and got into bed, mouths devouring each other. Holly was too overwhelmed to speak anymore.

Gail took a moment to really take Holly in, from the beautiful olive skin that Gail loved to run her hands over, to the dark eyes that had so disarmed her. Gail saw fire flash in those eyes now, and she reached her hand between Holly's legs. Holly gasped, pressing her open mouth onto Gail's.

Then Holly was inside of her too, and Gail's whole body ached with what Holly was doing to her. Gail wrapped her leg around Holly, drawing her in deeper, and tried to match her rhythm.

Holly tried to focus on the thrusting of Gail's hips and the moans that she emitted. She tried to ignore the agonizing pleasure cascading over her own body, biting down on her own moans. But watching Gail's arousal only fueled her own. She kissed Gail desperately. Holly willed herself to hold back, until she felt Gail orgasaming around her fingers, then she let herself release too.

Gail placed her forehead solidly on Holly's. "Holly," she sighed. She wanted to look at her face, but Holly had dipped her head down slightly. Gail nudged up with her own head, and saw that tears had welled in Holly's eyes. She placed gentle kisses along each of Holly's eyes, then on her forehead, cheeks, nose and chin. She ran her thumb along Holly's lips, and then kissed those too. This seemed to only make Holly's eyes shine brighter with emotion.

Gail smiled gently. "Well, at least I'm not the only one of us who has cried after sex now."

Holly laughed softly. "We make quite the pair."

Gail's head went to the well-known spot on Holly's shoulder, and she began to trace her fingers along Holly's hand. Gail hadn't imagined that Holly could make her body feel any better than she already had, but Gail was overwhelmed by what she had just felt. She had given her body over entirely to the woman she loved, and knew that Holly had done the same. It felt different, deeper somehow. Neither of them was holding anything back anymore, and Gail could feel the difference.

"Hey Gail, are you hungry?"

"I am starving."

"I know a place we can go get late night dim sum."

"How could I not love you?"

* * *

Holly and Gail had gotten dressed and strolled over to Chinatown. The dim sum restaurant was a tiny hole-in-the-wall sort of place, where little old ladies hand-made all of the food in an open kitchen. They had eaten in happy silence, gazing at each other, eyes gleaming with unspoken emotion. The difference now was that they knew what the other was feeling and the words didn't need to be spoken in that moment.

After dinner, they had walked around the night market, holding hands while they took in the bright neon lights and the sounds and smells of the street vendors' stalls and carts. Holly bought Gail a pork bun, which she ate happily as they walked back to Holly's place.

When they got back to her apartment, Holly wasn't quite sure what to do with herself. Every moment she had spent with Gail had been tinged by a slight feeling of desperation, like it could be the last opportunity she would have with her. That feeling was gone now. Gail wasn't going anywhere. She had time, and the possibilities were endless. Holly didn't know where to start.

* * *

Holly pulled her in for a hug, holding Gail warmly. Gail nuzzled into Holly's neck and wrapped her arms around Holly's waist. They stood like that for a long while, in the middle of Holly's dark living room, not moving.

Gail felt like a different person. She had been to hell and back and had somehow found salvation where she had least expected it. She had somehow stumbled into grace.

Right where she was in that moment.

"Holly, will you cut my hair?" Gail asked.

"You want me to cut your hair?" Holly echoed, skeptically. "I've only ever cut someone's hair once. I butchered my little brother's mushroom cut when we were kids and my mom almost cried. Are you sure you want me to do it?"

"I don't want to wait. I want to do it right now. I trust you."

Holly was a little incredulous at the idea of Gail trusting her to cut her hair when she had no experience, not to mention proper supplies, but she could tell that this was important to Gail from the look on her face. If Gail was looking for catharsis, and a spontaneous haircut would give that to her, then Holly would just have to do the best she could.

Gail went to sit in the bathroom, while Holly grabbed some kitchen scissors.

"What do you want me to do?" Holly asked.

"I want something different. Cut it short."

"You sure about this?" Holly asked, one last time.

"Never been more sure."

Holly gently ran her hands through Gail's long, blonde hair, making slow cuts with the scissors.

When Holly was finished, Gail didn't even bother to look in the mirror. As she stood, Holly put one hand softly on her cheek and wrapped the other around her back. Gail placed her hand on the side of Holly's head and drew her in for a kiss.

Gail felt reborn.


	9. Cosplaying for Chloe

**So I seriously considered ending this fic, cause I thought the last chapter was inadvertently a fitting end. Like I said though, I already had further chapters in my head. Since the new season is starting so soon anyways, I thought I would just continue with this fic and see what the season brings.**

**Apparently, I just want Gail Peck to cosplay all the time.**

**Let me know what you think. Happy reading.**

* * *

**Chapter 9 Cosplaying for Chloe **

**Gail: Your amazing girlfriend has managed to arrange her day so she can come bring you lunch at work.**

**Holly: I really get full-service policing, don't I? Protect and serve.**

**Gail: You really do.**

**Gail: I'll text you when I get there.**

**Holly: I'll be waiting.**

**Holly: I know somewhere quiet we can go…**

Gail stared at her phone. Was Holly just teasing her? _Please don't be joking, _Gail implored the heavens.

Gail had spent the last few weeks in a loved-up state of bliss. Gail was a walking cliché. Colours were brighter. Food tasted better. Cheesy love songs spoke to her. She was even finding the human race more tolerable…to an extent.

Things were so easy with Holly right now. Gail had a casual joy in her life, which she had never experienced before. A part of her was waiting for something awful to happen – this sort of happiness couldn't possibly be sustainable, could it? She was still waiting to find the bottom on the depth of her feelings for Holly. The difference now, was that she was letting herself free fall.

Gail looked at her watch. Lunchtime. She needed to hustle and get some food so she could actually have some time with Holly before she needed to get back on shift.

* * *

Holly hadn't been teasing Gail with her text message. Her mind had been wandering to the gutter all morning, and when Gail had texted to say she could swing by for lunch, Holly had decided to seize the opportunity.

She had dragged Gail down to a quiet little room where they wouldn't be disturbed. Holly took the paper bag out of Gail's hand and tossed it onto a table. She pressed her lips down onto Gail's mouth and ran her fingertips along the short hair on the back of her head. Holly did miss being able to run her fingers through Gail's hair.

Holly moved to wrap her arms around Gail's waist. Her hand met the cold steel of Gail's gun.

"Oh god, I just touched your gun. I am so sorry," Holly yelped.

Gail shook her head, dismissing Holly's concern, and pulling her in for another kiss.

Holly brought her hand up higher and promptly met a barrier. She couldn't help it, she giggled at the absurdity.

"What?" Gail panted.

"I just tried to grope you through your bulletproof vest," Holly chuckled. "Can we take your gear off?"

Gail shook her head. "It'll take too long."

Holly was disappointed for only a moment. Then Gail was undoing the buttons on her shirt and kissing her chest. She undid her pants and lifted Holly onto the desk behind her. Holly decided she would just have to owe Gail.

* * *

Gail was packing up her things in the locker room at the end of shift, and thinking about her very satisfying lunch break, when Chloe skipped in.

"Hey!" Chloe greeted Gail, in her annoyingly perky way.

"Hey," Gail replied.

"Guess what?" Chloe said, enthusiastically.

"What?" Gail sighed, smiling despite herself.

"I am cleared for full active duty!"

"That's really great Chloe."

"So tomorrow night I'm having a party at The Penny, and I want you and Holly to be there."

"Tomorrow night is trivia night. So we are going to be there anyways. You know this."

"I know, but I want to do something special tomorrow night…incorporate my celebration into trivia night."

Gail was instantly suspicious and glared at Chloe, waiting for her to spit out whatever ridiculous idea she had come up with. Chloe smiled at her innocently.

"What is it?" Gail sighed.

"I want everyone to dress up as their favourite fictional character. Doesn't that sound fun?!"

"No. Not a chance."

"Before you say no – "

"I've already said no."

" – let me remind you that I was recently shot. In the neck. The doctors thought I might die."

"Why do we have to dress up for trivia at The Penny?" Gail whined. "That doesn't even make sense."

"I was inspired by you," Chloe said, mischievously.

"I'm going to kill Dov." Gail stalked from the room.

"See you tomorrow," Chloe called sweetly to Gail.

* * *

"Holly, I know you really love it, but how about we skip trivia tomorrow night and just spend some quality time, just the two of us?" Gail suggested to Holly, as they washed the dishes together after dinner.

Trivia at The Penny had become a regular weekly event once Chloe had been up to going out and things had started to get back to normal after the shootings. And no one seemed to enjoy it more than Holly. Gail was amused to discover Holly's fierce competitive side. She had been surprised the first time Holly had trash-talked Dov – very, pleasantly surprised. They would routinely verbally posture with each other, even though Holly always had the upper hand on Dov. Gail was not surprised that Holly was also brilliant at the trivia. She excelled at the science and entertainment questions, but she was also good with the other categories, as well. Her only real competition was Chloe.

"But I was really looking forward to it," Holly pouted at Gail.

"I was hoping for some alone time…" Gail said suggestively.

"Good thing we're alone tonight," Holly said, a little too flippantly.

Gail frowned at Holly and looked hard at her face. There was a glint in Holly's eyes, and Gail realized she was being toyed with.

"She got to you already, didn't she?" Gail groaned.

"Chloe texted me this afternoon. Good try though."

"Holly…"

"Playing the 'alone time' card on your loving girlfriend to try and get out of going to your friends party, which is to celebrate the fact that she can come back to work after she nearly died. Wow, Peck." Holly laughed at the guilty look on Gail's face and leaned over to kiss her.

"But we have to dress up," Gail whined, again.

"I know. It's going to be fun. And I already have the perfect idea for you."

Gail groaned again. "Well, just tell me what to pick up. I already know a place, and I can go at the end of shift. The shop-owner is going to start to think I'm a real weirdo though."

"You're my weirdo."

Gail flicked soapy water at Holly and pulled her in for another kiss.

* * *

Holly slicked back Gail's hair with a comb into a severe widow's peak. She bit down on her lip, trying hard not to laugh at the petulant look carved into Gail's features. It was only making Gail look more like her costumed character. She couldn't help it - she burst out laughing.

"Don't laugh," Gail glared at her.

"I'm so sorry. But I think you were born to wear this costume. The new haircut was fate."

Holly stepped back to admire Gail's ensemble. She wore a black robe with an emerald crest. Now that her hair was slicked back, it was almost perfect how much she looked like Draco Malfoy, right down to the sullen glare.

"I shouldn't have told you that I secretly love the Harry Potter books," Gail grumbled.

"I think it's adorable that you read them every year," Holly laughed.

"Yeah, maybe don't mention that tonight, Hol."

Gail went to go look at herself in the mirror. She had to admit it was a really good costume. She watched in the mirror, as Holly pulled on her Harry Potter costume.

"My costume's better," Gail said, pleased with herself.

"Yeah, it is. It's maybe a little too good," Holly laughed. "I don't know if you want to be the doppelganger of an evil teenage boy though."

"Draco was misunderstood in a lot of ways…" Gail started.

Holly arched her eyebrow at Gail. "I'm not going to argue with you about this again."

* * *

"Boom. Champion. Suck it, Dov," Holly exclaimed, triumphantly. She had won again.

Gail watched fondly, nursing a whiskey, as Holly continued to throw barbs back and forth with Dov. Holly had fit into her group of friends so easily. A part of Gail could have been jealous that her friends seemed to like her girlfriend better than they liked her, but Gail couldn't blame them one bit. _How could anyone not love Holly?_

There had been a great turnout at The Penny for Chloe's party. Almost everyone had come. There had been a collective intake of breath when Andy and Sam had walked in, holding hands. Andy hadn't confirmed anything to her, but Gail had suspected for a while now that that they had gotten back together. Now that this had been confirmed, Gail's heart went out to Nick, despite everything. Gail's heart was happy and safe, and it allowed her to be charitable towards Nick in ways she wouldn't normally have been.

Holly wandered over to Gail and placed a hand on her shoulder. Gail reached up and put her arm around Holly's waist, smiling up at the other woman.

"I'm going to get another drink, do you want anything?" Holly asked.

Gail downed the rest of her drink. "Another whiskey, please."

Holly squeezed her shoulder and wandered over to the bar. Gail watched her go.

"How about another game?" Chris asked, happily.

"Nooo," Dov groaned. "I've had my ass handed to me enough times tonight."

"But it's such a cute ass," Chloe purred.

"I just threw up in my mouth," Gail said, face a mask of disgust.

Traci came to sit next to Gail and put an arm around her shoulder. "Do you see what's happening behind you?" she asked, smiling.

Gail turned around to see Holly deep in conversation with Steve at the bar.

"What's he doing?" Gail hissed, turning back to Traci.

"I think he's interrogating your girlfriend," Traci laughed.

Gail tried to stare daggers at Steve, but he just ignored her.

* * *

"So, I hear my little sister is in love with you," Steve said, jumping right into it.

"The feeling is very mutual," Holly replied.

"I saw the way she looked at you when you came to the hospital that night, and I have to admit, I was surprised. But as long as you're good to her, I don't care who you are. Now, normally this would be the part where I puff my chest out in a really intimidating, macho way and tell you 'not to hurt my baby sister' or something like that. But I feel a little weird doing that, in this case."

"Well, I promise if you did, I would be very intimidated," Holly laughed.

"She's been hurt before. She puts up a hard façade, but she's sensitive…" Steve said, getting serious again.

"I won't hurt her," Holly replied, simply. " I promise."

Steve nodded. "To be honest with you, I've never seen Gail so happy. Gail and serenity aren't two words that I would normally put together….but, that's the best word I can think of right now."

Steve put his arm around Holly. "Whatever you're doing, keep it up," he said. "Now, Gail has been sending me telepathic death threats since I walked over here, so I'll let you get back. I'd like for you and Gail to come out for dinner with Traci and I sometime soon though."

"I'd like that," Holly said. She gave Steve a quick pat on the back, then walked back over to Gail, who was looking at her apologetically.

"Your drink, my love," Holly said in a silly voice.

Gail wrapped her arm back around her waist, and titled her head onto Holly.

* * *

Gail had been a messy drunk by the end of the night. Holly had suspected that this would be the case and hadn't allowed herself to drink too heavily, knowing she would need to take care of her.

Holly hailed a cab outside of the pub and guided Gail into the backseat. Once inside, Gail had placed her face up against the plastic divider, and engaged the driver in a very one-sided conversation. She had declared her love to the driver for, among other things, Holly, Cheetos, Harry Potter, and justice. Holly imagined the driver was relieved to have the two intoxicated grown women, dressed in costumes, out of his cab, once Holly had paid.

It wasn't until they were back in the apartment that Gail had decided she needed pizza. Holly suggested ordering take-out, but Gail declared emphatically that she couldn't wait. She had sat in front of the fridge and proceeded to pull pretty much everything out of it, sampling some of the contents and just discarding the rest to the floor. Holly had joined her on the floor and watched Gail with affectionate bemusement. She had let Gail feed her some cheese, in what she supposed, Gail thought was a very seductive manner.

After she had eaten, Gail had focused her attentions solely on Holly. Gail's clumsy attempts at seduction had made it as far as the bedroom, before she had passed out. Holly didn't know whether she should be disappointed or relieved, but settled on a combination of the two.

She finished taking Gail's clothing off and put her under the covers. Holly got herself ready for bed, put a glass of water and aspirin next to Gail, and crawled in beside her. She ran the back of her hand affectionately down Gail's cheek and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

* * *

Gail woke up late the next morning, feeling like absolute hell. Holly was no longer in bed with her, but she saw, gratefully, that Holly had left water and aspirin next to her. After she had drunk the water and taken the aspirin, Gail dragged herself into the shower.

Once she had stepped out of the shower, Gail was feeling a bit more human, and memories of last night started to come back to her. She shuffled out to the kitchen, where she found Holly eating breakfast and reading the paper.

"Hey there," Holly said, smiling. "How are you feeling?"

"Ugh, terrible," Gail groaned. "And embarrassed. I am so sorry about last night."

Holly laughed. "It's ok. I wouldn't go so far as to call you charming, but it was amusing."

"I'm such an ass."

Holly pulled Gail into a soft hug. "There's coffee and toast."

"You are my favorite person in the whole world."

"I know."

Gail sat down next to Holly and drank from a large mug of coffee, nibbling on a piece of dry toast.

"By the way, what were you and my brother talking about last night?" Gail asked. "Do I need to kill him?"

"We were just talking about how much we both love you," Holly replied, casually.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I guess that's ok then."

"Speaking of family…" Holly said, innocently.

"I know that look, Holly. Just tell me," Gail said, eyeing Holly over her coffee mug.

"I was planning on taking some holiday time at work and going home to Alberta to see my family for a few days. And I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?"

"Oh…um…"

"No pressure. But I've talked about you, and they would really like to meet you. And I would really like you to meet them. I was thinking after, we could take an extra couple of days and go to the mountains, just you and me."

"I would love to come with you, Holly."

"Really?" Holly jumped up excitedly and threw her arms around Gail.

"Gentle. I'm fragile right now," Gail groaned. "One condition, though. No camping in the mountains."

"I was thinking more along the lines of a 19th century chalet."

"Yes, that sounds much more my style. Just tell me what days I should ask for time off."

"This is going to be great. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

Gail felt the same nervous worry she had felt in anticipation of meeting Holly's friends for the first time. Gail knew that she didn't make the best first impressions. But she had survived that. And if there was the prospect of a couple of days tucked away alone in the Rocky Mountains with Holly, then Gail would meet every second cousin, great aunt, and otherwise distant relative that Holly had.


End file.
